cg or fiji?

so i've officially been in class for 5 weeks. crazy. after being in waco for over a month, and after spending a weekend back in auburn, i have a few observations:

in waco, i go to concerts (that feel like band parties) at a coffee house instead of a frat house. the bands have been robbie seay and shawn mcdonald instead of velcro pygmies and fly by radio. i get coffee spilled on my toes instead of beer. (despite these differences, i still kinda feel like i have "FRESHMAN" written on my forehead, just like i did 4 years ago.)

does this mean waco is better or more of a "christian" environment?

here, being a christian is almost expected of people (if not in waco, it is on baylor's campus in general, and it certainly is at truett). there, true christians are far from a shunned minority, but they certainly aren't the popular majority either. here, being a christian seems to be just part of life. there, i see it as a chosen lifestyle. 

again, these are broad sweeping generalizations and just mere observations, but thought-provoking nonetheless. and i'm certainly not pointing fingers at either community because perhaps it's more of a personal thing. maybe it's just that when i'm constantly surrounded by it, when it's expected of me, it's easier to justify slacking off. but when it's a choice i'm having to make, i'm more likely to figure out for myself. interesting.

so back to the question. is waco a better environment than auburn? certainly not. i pray that my faith won't depend on environment or circumstance.

when the rubber meets the road...

in my intro to theology class we read a chapter each week discussing a highly debated issue in christian theology, then we have to choose a side of the debate and write an essay supporting our choice. this week was on the foreknowledge debate--essentially, does God know all things that will happen (the classical view), or does He know some things while leaving other things open to be determined by our freewill (the open view)? tough question. i had to realize that this is an issue that has been debated for several years, so the likelihood of me finding the definite answer is pretty slim. and maybe more importantly, the way God works cannot possibly be completely and fully understood by my human, finite mind. however, after wrestling with the issue and being forced to pick a side, i went with the classical view.

here's a thought: theological issues are kinda fun to talk about and debate in theory, but when the rubber meets the road, when these crazy ideas turn into what you're actually believing and banking your life on, it takes things to a whole new level. so as much as i hate saying this, i'm almost thankful that i'm in the trenches, that i'm living this out right now, that i'm in a place of wrestling with what i believe in the midst of tragedy, because otherwise, it would be easy to sit in these classes and just talk without having to put into practice. that's not to discredit the theology of people who haven't experienced tragedy, but that's just where i am. does that make sense?

all of that to say, i just thought i'd share the last few paragraphs of my essay from tuesday night's class. i can't help but see these issues through the lenses of my life experiences. anyway, here's the last part of the essay:

"It is easy to discuss this issue in theory, but when faced in real life experiences, how does it play out? Do these concepts of the classical view of divine foreknowledge still hold true in my day-to-day life, my monumental decisions, and my unexpected tragedies?

            I have to agree with David's proclamation in Psalm 139:16: "In your book were written, everyone of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them."

            Therefore, in day-to-day life and in major life decisions, I believe that God foreknows what I will freely choose to do. I do not think that God has a mysterious, predetermined will that I can discover only if I pray enough and read the Bible enough. I do not believe that he causes us to choose something, but rather that in His sovereignty and omniscience, He knows what choice we will make.

            When unexpected tragedies occur, I do not believe that they are a surprise to God. Because I believe that He knows all that will happen, I believe that He foreknew that my dad would die of a sudden heart attack, and for some reason that I may never understand, He allowed it to happen. I cringe when fellow believers throw scriptures like Romans 8:28 to me like miraculous Band-Aids claiming that all things happen for a reason, because I do not believe that God is trading a bad circumstance for a good outcome like a couple of baseball cards. However, as Scripture reveals and as the Great Tradition affirms, I have to believe that my God foreknows all that shall come to pass, including great tragedy."

welcome to waco.

It’s been a while since I last blogged—surprise. But good news: I’ve discovered a new desire, a need really, for this type of processing. Life in Waco is good, but I find myself desperately wanting to be around someone that knows me. A few people here know me pretty well—friends from home, Kanakuk, etc.—but nobody here REALLY knows me. Maybe I should say that nobody here really knows me YET. We’ll see. All of that to say, I guess I’m doing this out of a desire to be known. Call me shallow, or maybe just call me human.

This is such a bizarre stage of life. I almost feel like a college freshman all over again, meeting new people and trying to make friends. It’s been a few years since I’ve had this feeling of being unknown. A group of us watched a movie together last night, and at one point I looked around the room and realized nobody there knew about my dad. Weird. It’s not really something to bring up in casual conversation, but at the same time, it’s a huge part of who I am.

Being here has been pretty tough in that area. I guess I’m naïve, but I wasn’t really expecting it to be as tough as it has been. I grew up coming to Baylor with my family, so this place is full of random childhood memories. The big thing is that I just can’t help but think about how giddy Dad would be about finally having a kid at Baylor. But perhaps the real issue is that this is the first big life transition I’ve had to go through without him. I want to call him after my classes and tell him what I’m learning and how incredible my professors are. He would be so proud of me. Maybe that sounds vain, but I miss hearing that and really knowing that.

So I don’t know where that leaves me, but in the words of Jordin Sparks: “one step at a time.”