a morning invitation.

"I get the invitation every morning when I wake up to actually live a life of complete engagement, a life of whimsy, a life where love does. It doesn't come in an envelope. It's ushered in by a sunrise, the sound of a bird, or the smell of coffee drifting lazily from the kitchen. It's the invitation to actually live, to fully participate in this amazing life for one more day. Nobody turns down an invitation to the White House, but I've seen plenty of people turn down an invitation to fully live.

Turning down this invitation comes in lots of flavors. It looks like numbing yourself or distracting yourself or seeing something really beautiful as just normal. It can also look like refusing to forgive or not being grateful or getting wrapped around the axle with fear or envy. I think every day God sends us an invitation to live and sometimes we forget to show up or get head-faked into thinking we haven't really been invited. But you see, we have been invited -- every day, all over again."

-- Bob Goff, Love Does

niagara falls in a teacup.

"Do you really accept the message that God is head over heels in love with you? I believe that this question is at the core of our ability to mature and grow spiritually. If in our hearts we really don't believe that God loves us as we are, if we are still tainted by the lie that we can do something to make God love us more, we are rejecting the message of the cross. ...

When I conclude that I can now cope with the awful love of God, I have headed for the shallows to avoid the deeps. I could more easily contain Niagara Falls in a teacup than I can comprehend the wild, uncontainable love of God."

-- Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

{source}

brennan manning.

Brennan Manning, best known for his book, The Ragamuffin Gospel, passed away on Friday morning. I read a couple of his books in college, and in the wake of his recent death, I'm feeling the urge to read him again. He was and through his works he will continue to be an incredible voice proclaiming God's relentless love and grace for us. If you've never read anything by him, I'd highly recommend you do. It will be time well spent, and more importantly, your affections will be stirred for Jesus.

"My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it."
-- The Ragamuffin Gospel

"Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion."
-- Abba's Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging

joy dare.

i love the idea of resolutions, but let's be honest, i'm not always great at sticking to them -- but who is? (okay, except for sarah.) i think the only 2012 resolution we successfully stuck with was closing the toilet lid when we flush. not a joke. the bristers are lid-closers now. who wants to brush their teeth with toilet water? sick.

don't get me wrong, we've come up with some great ideas in the last week or so... 2013: the year of actually eating our leftovers. 2013: the year of calling our grandmothers more. 2013: the year i actually change my email address to my married name (it's been 15 months, y'all). 2013: the year we read more and watch tv less. 2013: the year i start remembering to take my reusable bags to the grocery store.

and then, of course, there are the spiritual ones... 2013: the year of praying more... or reading my bible more consistently... or being more intentional in my conversations with people... etc., etc., etc... but how do you measure "more"? it's totally unachievable.

i need something measurable, something achievable. i recently finished the book one thousand gifts. (i wrote a post about it a couple months ago when i started it, mostly because i had fallen in love with the little intro video. go back and check it out.)

i mean, i LOVED this book. it took me a while to get used to her writing style, but once i did, i was just so overwhelmed by it. by the time i finished, i was so ready, so desperate to make eucharisteo a part of me, for gratitude to be part of who i am, for my joy to come from my awareness of who HE is and all HE has done -- in the everyday, no matter the circumstance. because quite literally everything is a gift, whether i recognize it or not, so why not make an effort to notice?

so it was officially decided... 2013: the year of counting 1000 gifts. measurable: clearly. achievable: absolutely. then... it gets better... i was on ann voskamp's blog one day and found a little gem to help me in this gift counting. it's called the joy dare. she gives you three things to look for each day, and by the end of the year, you'll have counted over 1000 gifts. so for example, here's january:

i'm only 8 days in and i'm already loving it. admittedly, it can feel a little cheesy sometimes, but maybe that's okay? even good for me? it feels like a treasure hunt, which i don't hate even a little bit.

so here's to 2013: the year of counting 1000 gifts... and maybe eating a few more leftovers. who's with me??

one thousand gifts.

ann voskamp's book, one thousand gifts, has been on my nightstand waiting for me to read it now for about four months. in the meantime, i've started following her on twitter, checking her blog occasionally... but for whatever reason i've just let her book collect dust.

then, last week my friend posted a video of ann voskamp on her blog. i'm not completely sure, but i think it's a preview video of a new one thousand gifts bible study. whatever it is, it's fantastic. i sat there watching it (and have watched it again) with tears in my eyes.

she talks about how at an early age, she went through tragedy and her heart became closed off toward God. she talks about how she couldn't see his love and his grace toward her. she talks about how this project of finding one thousand blessings in her life became a journey of restoration. she talks about how gratitude changed her entire perspective on life and allowed her to understand God's love for her.

the tears came because her story sounds way too familiar. i've struggled to understand God's love for me in the last five and a half years. i've tried to keep him at a distance. i've allowed my faith to become something in my head, rather than my heart. on top of that, i've recently felt like i've just been going from job to job, event to event, weekend to weekend... just feeling like i'm existing and getting by rather than really living.

but, i find myself really wanting my heart to be engaged. i want to really live in the moment. i want my affections to be stirred for him. i want to see his love and grace in my life. it may seem scary and difficult sometimes, but i want it desperately.

whether you're in a similar place or not, i hope your heart is encouraged and your perspective is renewed by this video. it's only 20 minutes long, so grab a cup of coffee and enjoy. oh and i'm only a few pages in, but i can already tell you i'd recommend the book, too!

7.

if i've had any kind of conversation with you recently, you've probably heard me rave about this book. i finished it a couple weeks ago, and i still can't stop thinking and talking about it.

so, the author is jen hatmaker, who i wish i could be friends with in real life. she and her husband are church planters (yep), and they've adopted 2 kids (win) from ethiopia (hello!!). on top of that, she's hilarious... and a texan. i mean, come on, y'all.

7 is a book about her "experimental mutiny against excess." she spent seven months examining seven different areas of life in which most of us live in ridiculous excess, and she reduced each area down to seven simple choices. so here's the rundown:

1. FOOD: she only ate 7 foods for a whole month. (nightmare.)
2. CLOTHES: she only wore 7 articles of clothing for a whole month. (not including underwear. that would be gross.)
3. POSSESSIONS: she gave away 7 things each day for a whole month. (wow.)
4. MEDIA: she shut off 7 different media outlets for a whole month. (which is essentially all of them.) 
5. WASTE: she picked up 7 green habits for a whole month (gardening, composting, recycling, etc... you know, all those things i wish i did or even knew how to do...)
6. SPENDING: she only spent money at 7 places for a whole month. (no eating out. yikes.)
7. STRESS: she practiced seven sacred pauses each day for a whole month. (yeah for our monastic brothers and sisters!)

so why in the world would she do this?! to purge the junk and find the necessary. much like a fast, it was "an exercise in simplicity with one goal: to create space for God's kingdom to break through... a deliberate abstinence to summon God's movement in my life." yes please.

when i was describing this book to a friend and trying to get her to read it, her response was, "no thanks, that sounds too extreme for me." here's the deal -- it's totally extreme and i have absolutely zero intention of ever only eating seven foods for a whole month (especially since there weren't any sweets on the list!). that's the thing about this book though -- it's not a guilt trip at all. i never felt like she was talking down to me or trying to make me feel like a terrible person -- but she did make me think and she did challenge me to reconsider these areas of life in light of who jesus is and what he's called us to. and the best part?? she made me laugh... a lot. always a win.

if i could read it again (which i might), i would move through it much more slowly and actually try to consider one area of life at a time before moving on to the next. by the end, i felt a little overwhelmed by all the things i wanted to add/change in my life -- and unfortunately, i'm often the queen of good intentions but have terrible follow through. so if when you read it, try not to take it in big chunks like i did. all that to say, i really, really think you should read it... and i'm fairly certain you'll love it. 

introverts in the church.

i like chocolate; chris likes vanilla.
i like to eat healthy; chris could eat fast food every day.
i don't know what i'm doing this afternoon; chris has 5- and 10-year plans.
i like to try new things; chris is a creature of habit.

i could literally keep going for pages and pages. it's outrageous how different we are on almost everything. i think it's our biggest strength as a team, because we balance each other out, but it also causes most of our struggles, because figuring out how to live with someone so opposite of you isn't always easy.

many of our differences can be summed up in this sentence: i am an extrovert; chris is an introvert. we are seriously fascinated and baffled by each other's personalities, because they're so unlike our own. i'm always on the lookout for insights into introversion, trying to understand it better and trying to learn how to love my husband well. so when chris recently read a book entitled Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture, i was eager to get my hands on it as soon as he finished.

i 100% think you should read this book if you either are an introvert or if you're married to an introvert... and i absolutely think that EVERYONE in christian ministry should read it -- introvert or not. chris found incredible freedom through this book, and i gained immense insight into his world.

i had never realized how extroverted in nature the american evangelical church is. we value doers over thinkers, talking over listening, community over solitude, and outward expressions of emotion over internal processing. look at a typical worship service -- we're all about the meet and greet time (which makes introverts' skin crawl), but when is the last time you went to a service that held silence for a significant amount of time? the extrovert in me is uncomfortable just thinking about that!

one of the areas in which this bias is most obvious is leadership. think about it: when you think of the ideal pastor (or youth minister or whatever), what qualities do you think of? it's probably someone who has charisma, is gregarious, has a magnetic personality, and can work a room. but what about someone who is consistent, disciplined, fiercely loyal in relationships, loves to study, and doesn't mind if his work goes unnoticed? whether in leadership or in life, there are SO many introvert qualities that we extroverts would do well to learn from, and at the very least, appreciate. a few examples: listening (in conversations and in prayer), regularly practicing silence and solitude, thinking before responding to conflict rather than reacting, doing a few things well rather than spreading ourselves too thin, serving behind-the-scenes rather than wanting attention... and the list goes on.

obviously, the world needs both extroverts and introverts -- and the church most certainly needs both. a healthy church would be one that recognizes, values, and utilizes the gifts and strengths of both, a church that evaluates its leaders based on faithfulness to calling rather than personality type. as mchugh writes, "When introverts and extroverts are mutually celebrated, not only in word but also in practice, both the depth of the church's ministry and the breadth of her witness are enhanced." yes please!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

if you're interested in learning more about this introvert/extrovert conversation (in our culture in general, not specifically in the context of the church), then PLEASE check out this ted talk. it's fantastic and absolutely worth 19 minutes of your time. enjoy.

the prodigal god.

have you ever thought of God as prodigal? i certainly haven't, but maybe that's because i've had the wrong definition of prodigal. according to the dictionary, prodigal = "recklessly extravagant; having spent everything." as keller explains in the introduction, Jesus told this parable to show us "the God of Great Expenditure, who is nothing if not prodigal toward us, his children. God's reckless grace is our greatest hope, a life-changing experience, and the subject of this book." incredible, right?

in this book, keller walks through one of my favorite parables Jesus ever told, yet he explains it in a way i've never really heard before. it's typically referred to as "the parable of the prodigal son," and the way we usually think about it goes something like this -- the younger brother asked for his inheritance early, went off and wasted all of it, ended up coming home super remorseful, then the father forgave him and welcomed him back. but what about the older brother? -- he stayed home and did everything the father wanted, then was angry when the father welcomed the younger brother back -- what about him?

keller explains that both sons are lost. both sons wanted the father's things for their own self-centered ends rather than wanting to love, enjoy, and serve the father for his own sake. the younger brother wanted his inheritance so he could go off on a wayward adventure of self-discovery, and the older brother wanted to prove his impeccable morality so one day he could receive the inheritance he was due. both were in the wrong, and both represent ways we live in sin today. keller writes, "Sin is not just breaking the rules, it is putting yourself in the place of God as Savior, Lord, and Judge just as each son sought to displace the authority of the father in his own life."

it is outrageous how incredibly similar i am to the older brother in this story. in one chapter, keller lists common qualities of an older brother mentality, and i literally could check off every single one in my life. yikes! i might never consciously think, "if i do all the right things, i'll please God and he'll make my life go well." i must think it subconsciously though, because when my life doesn't play out the way i think it should, i tend to point my finger at God and wonder why he would let this happen to someone who has done everything she can to please him. what is that?! why do i think my good works entitle me to a carefree life?? why do i think i can control God if i do what he says?? why am i trying to function as my own savior?!

the best part of the story is when the father goes out to invite both sons into the celebration feast. the younger brother knew he was alienated from the father, and before he could even apologize, the father started partying. on the other hand, the older brother had no idea he was alienated from the father, and when the parable ends, we're left wondering if the older brother would join the party or not! as keller explains, "The prerequisite for receiving the grace of God is to know you need it." it sounds so simple, but if you're functioning as your own savior, you don't recognize your need for one. likewise, if you don't understand the depth of your sin -- even if (especially if?) your sin is the wrong motivation for doing the right thing -- then you don't understand the depth of God's grace for you.

think on this: "Religion operates on the principle of 'I obey -- therefore I am accepted by God.' The basic operating principle of the gospel is 'I am accepted by God through the work of Jesus Christ -- therefore I obey.'" how are you operating??