like a bridegroom and a bride.

a week ago today was our second anniversary, which i realize sounds like child's play compared to forever, but to us, two years is a big deal and definitely worth celebrating. our tradition (if you can call it that... we've only done it twice now) is to split fajitas at our favorite mexican place since that's what we did on our first date. last year, we followed that up with year-old wedding cake, but this year we indulged on my favorite dessert in town -- chocolate cobbler at blu. so delish. then, the best part of the night is watching our wedding video and crying our (my) little eyes out. i love reliving everything about that day. (side note: if you haven't gotten married yet, let me very strongly recommend that when you do, you invest in a stellar videographer. i'm so glad we did. thanks, whenitclicks!)

needless to say, i was extra sentimental last week about all things love, wedding, and marriage. i think i even said to chris at one point, "my goal in life is to figure out how i can wear my veil again." totally normal, right?

so, one morning i decided to look up all the different times in scripture where wedding imagery is used. having just seen our video and looked through our photos, these verses completely came alive for me. i would love to share a couple with you. they're just so good, y'all.

"I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God!

For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation

and draped me in a robe of righteousness.

I am like a bridegroom in his wedding suit

or a bride with her jewels."

-- Isaiah 61:10 (NLT)

isaiah says that our righteous acts are like filthy rags (isaiah 64:6), but God clothes us in his righteousness, which is far more beautiful than wedding clothes and jewels. and the best part is that unlike that beautiful veil that i only got to wear one time and desperately want to wear again, when we are in Christ, we will always be clothed with his salvation and adorned with his righteousness. when God looks at us, he doesn't see our filthy rags -- he sees Christ's stunning righteousness.

okay one more:

"...and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you."

-- Isaiah 62:5 (ESV)

it's the best part of every wedding -- watching the groom's face when he first lays eyes on his bride. when you imagine what God's face looks like when he looks at you, do you imagine a look of frustration? annoyance? disappointment? indifference? according to isaiah, if we imagine God's face to look like anything other than a groom's looking at his bride, we are wrong... just flat out believing a lie.

he is not frustrated or annoyed with you. he is not disappointed in you, and he's certainly not indifferent toward you. when he looks at you, he can barely hold it together. he cherishes you. he sees you as beautiful and radiant -- clothed in salvation and adorned with Christ's righteousness. 

we have to quit believing the lies so easily. we have to quit trying to dress ourselves in filthy rags.

let him clothe you with his radiant righteousness. 

let your heart believe he is captivated by your beauty.

know that because of Christ, God is so pleased with you and so proud of you.

when he looks at you, it is a look of sheer joy and utter amazement. 

psalm 94:17-19.

If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.

When I thought, "My foot slips," your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.

When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.

sometimes when i'm having a hard time believing God in my present tense, i have to remember who he's been in my past tense. i like to think that's what the psalmist is doing here -- verses 17 and 18 are in past tense, and verse 19 is in present tense. so, the way we would finish that past tense sentence ("If the Lord had not been my help, ______________.") should add at least a tiny bit of strength to our present tense faith, right?

also, i'm thankful that "when the cares of my heart are many," the one who paul refers to as "the Father of mercies and God of all comfort" cheers, delights, and comforts my soul. what grace that though he commands us not to worry, he provides loving-kindness when we do. though he commands us throughout scripture not to be afraid, he provides comfort when we are. whatever our cares, worries, fears, anxieties are, we can look to the Lord's steadfast love (how good is the word "steadfast"?!) to hold us up when our feet are slipping.

i'm pretty terrible at remembering these things and pretty great at letting fear run the day. but that's not how we were made to live. we have the Spirit of power inside of us -- the same one that raised Jesus from the dead -- so at the very least i think that Spirit can help us to remember who our God is and how he's been faithful in our past tense, then strengthen us in our present tense to punch fear (anxiety, worry, discouragement, whatever) in the face.

expecting, looking, and longing.

"And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]!"
-- Isaiah 30.18, Amplified Bible

i love that the amplified version translates "waits" as "expecting, looking, and longing." waiting can have such a negative connotation. when i read that he's waiting to be gracious to me, it's as if he's tapping his toe, annoyed at my continual failures, just impatiently holding out his grace until i get my life together. but expecting, looking, and longing? that paints an entirely different picture -- one of inexplicable mercy and loving-kindness -- a picture much more in line with the character of God we know to be true from scripture.

i do that way too often. i create a picture of God in my head that just isn't true. i imagine God reacting to things as i would -- impatient, inconsistent, annoyed, indifferent. well no wonder i don't want to spend time with that god. no wonder i have a hard time trusting that god. i think this is why A.W. Tozer wrote, "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us."

so, what if i truly believed -- not just in my head, but deep down in the core of who i am -- that the God i worship is expecting, looking, and longing to be gracious to me, to have mercy on me, to show me loving-kindness?

i think only when i understand that will i be able to spend my life expecting, looking, and longing for Him. because why wouldn't you long for that God? why wouldn't you look to a God who Himself -- His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, His matchless, unbroken companionship -- is better than anything this world has to offer?

i want to live like that. i want to believe it in the depths of my soul and let it transform my life.

these are my thoughts this morning. i have no doubt i'll forget these things by tomorrow morning -- or even this afternoon -- and have to remind myself all over again. thankful for grace.

"My only wish and desire, the one thing I humbly crave to have is the grace to love God, to love Him alone. Beyond that I ask for nothing more." -- St. Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556)

adoption in scripture.

one of my responsibilities at work is to manage the blog for buckner's be a family website. i recently wrapped up a series on that blog entitled, "adoption in scripture," where i walked through various places in scripture where we see adoption themes and stories. i really enjoyed writing it. i don't miss late nights in the library, but i do sometimes miss researching and writing for seminary classes. i loved being a student (nerd alert). it was fun to use those skills to write about something i care so deeply about -- and to do it for my job! what a gift!

so, if you're interested, i'd love to share the "adoption in scripture" posts with you. i hope you enjoy them and are encouraged by them. i also hope you appreciate how many capital letters i used.

part I: before creation
part II: abraham
part III: moses
part IV: esther
part V: jesus
part VI: paul's letters

weekend reading.

a few blog posts/articles caught my attention recently and i can't seem to stop thinking about them, so i wanted to share them on here so you could think about them, too.

grab another cup of coffee and enjoy.

rain down revival
beth moore

"I'm tired of giving God an inch and expecting a mile. I want to go with Him wherever He's going."

when you're done with pundits, soul wrestling & looking at the sky: {25 things i learned from staying with katie davis}
ann voskamp

"Our actual theology is best expressed in our actual hospitality. // And I don't mean that hospitality is one quaint ministry for those good in the kitchen and keeping their house picked up. Hospitality isn't for the good housekeepers -- it's the grid of life for anyone keeping company with Christ. Hospitality is meant to shape our churches and politics, our work and our schools, our home and our faith and our schedules and our meals and our lives."

get ready for all those babies
and the follow-up, revisiting "all those babies"
marv knox, editor, the baptist standard

"If Texas' conservative moral values prompt our state to implement one of the nation's most stringent abortion codes, then we should accept the responsibility for all those babies we will bring into the world. We need to do right by them."

and because all of those are quite heavy, here's something to make you laugh...

happy weekend!

reminder in the sky.

after a weekend in arkansas, we were welcomed home last night in typical oklahoma fashion... with severe thunderstorms. hooray! thankfully, we were able to take alternate routes on our drive so that we missed the worst parts of the storms. we finally pulled up to our apartment and were doing the "we made it" full body stretch that just instinctively happens after you've been in the car forever, when we looked up and saw a stellar rainbow peeking through the clouds.

maybe God knew i needed a little reminder of his faithfulness yesterday. it was my seventh father's day without dad, which is almost impossible to believe. it was easier than most since i was just on the road all day with my best friend, but it's just not a fun day -- and on those not fun days, it's easy to confuse emotions with truth, for "the heart is deceitful above all things" (jeremiah 17.9). so again, i was extra thankful last night for that little miracle in the sky reminding me that God keeps his promises and does not forget his people. he loves us and is with us.

he is faithful, he is glorious and
he is jesus and all my hope is in him.
he is freedom, he is healing right now,
he is hope and joy and love and peace and life.
-- bryan & katie torwalt

niagara falls in a teacup.

"Do you really accept the message that God is head over heels in love with you? I believe that this question is at the core of our ability to mature and grow spiritually. If in our hearts we really don't believe that God loves us as we are, if we are still tainted by the lie that we can do something to make God love us more, we are rejecting the message of the cross. ...

When I conclude that I can now cope with the awful love of God, I have headed for the shallows to avoid the deeps. I could more easily contain Niagara Falls in a teacup than I can comprehend the wild, uncontainable love of God."

-- Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

{source}

heavy heart.

i just really don't do storms well. this is our second spring (read: tornado season) in oklahoma, and i haven't gotten any better at it. if it even thunders, i assume a tornado is coming.

i was glued to the tv sunday evening as storms passed nearby us. a tornado touched down in edmond (about 45 minutes north of us), then moved on to do greater damage in shawnee (about an hour northeast of us).

i knew we were supposed to have bad weather again monday night, but surely it wouldn't be tornadoes again, right? surely it'd just be a thunderstorm? maybe some strong wind and hail?

i didn't think the weather was supposed to get bad yesterday until around dinnertime, so yesterday afternoon i was in my little home office working as usual. chris had come home for lunch and was working in the living room. i was on a phone call with my boss, and it wasn't even raining outside, when seemingly out of nowhere the tornado siren went off. chris immediately started watching the weather coverage while i stayed on my phone call (shocking, right?!). he came in and updated me a saying, "it looks like there are two storms. one should pass just north of us, and one should pass just south of us. everything's gonna be fine." it still wasn't even raining outside my window. my boss and i were nearing the end of our phone meeting when the sirens went off again. that was it, i had to go.

about the time i walked into the living room to figure out what was going on was about the time the massive tornado was doing its damage in moore... literally just 10-15 minutes away from us. we couldn't take our eyes off the screen as they showed live footage of the horrific destruction. pretty soon after that, our tv cut to the black and white fuzzy screen and our internet dropped. we made our way to a friend's house who still had cable and internet, watched some more coverage, realized we weren't in danger of any more storms, and resorted to pizza and parks&rec for the rest of the night. i never cried. i wasn't emotional. i think i was in shock and selfishly just thankful we were okay in norman.

today has been a different story. i've been wiping tears all day. my heart is just so heavy. i'm trying to work, but it's raining and thundering again outside which is disturbing to say the least, and i can't seem to turn the news coverage off in the other room, so my background noise all day has been stories of people just up the interstate from us whose lives were forever changed in a matter of minutes yesterday. the vastness of the destruction overwhelms me. the individual stories break me. those children -- it's just too much.

i'm not trying to pretend like this is my story to grieve or that i'm in any way a victim of this tragedy. please don't hear that. please don't be sad for me. i'm just trying to process by writing, and i guess "process" is what you call trying so hard to wrap my mind around this new reality just north of us and wrestling with this looming heaviness in my heart.

i'm heavy from the stories -- the children, the teachers, the parents, the first responders.
i'm heavy from trying to figure out how we can possibly help when the need is so great. no option seems like enough, but doing nothing isn't an option.
i'm heavy from feeling guilty that i want to act like it's a normal day and go for a walk on campus when it gets sunny later, but i'll be walking passed dorms where families are staying who are now homeless.
i'm heavy when i consider that the God who created the universe shares in our grief and suffers the impossible with us. it takes my breath away.

even in the heaviness there is hope.

a pastor friend of ours in moore survived with his family, but they completely lost their house -- i mean, everything. a friend of ours went and bought them underwear and other immediate necessities this morning. underwear, y'all. they lost everything. he posted a photo this morning of the remains of his house and his caption said, "jesus is better than everything i used to own."

today, we sit in heaviness. tomorrow, we start meagerly attempting to help with recovery efforts. thanks to all who have asked how to come alongside us and our church as we try to help. we'll keep you posted as we hear of opportunities. above all else, please pray for the people of moore!

an idea whose time has come.

the last two work weeks have taken me to dallas, okc, and nashville. it's been a nice break from my working from home routine, but definitely a whirlwind. 

my favorite part of the last two weeks has been that my worlds have completely collided. at almost all of these different events, i've rotated between my buckner hat, my prov road hat, and my cara jane hat (is that a thing?). for example, a couple thursdays ago, i went to a foster care forum in okc where i learned a ton about foster care in general for my job, but also learned how our church can be a part of what God is doing through his people in oklahoma to care for kids that need families.

it was incredible to see government officials, CEOs, foster care agencies, community members, and church leaders come together to discuss the future of foster care in oklahoma. if you're at all interested in this conversation, i highly recommend following @BenNockels and @111Project and reading more about the #fosterforum on twitter. they closed the day with a quote i thought could not have been more appropriate:

"There is nothing so powerful as an idea whose time has come." -- Victor Hugo

then, last week i attended the christian alliance for orphan's annual summit conference in nashville. if you've never heard of it, it's definitely a conference you should look into if you're at all interested in orphan care. they had a whole slew of incredible speakers and workshop leaders, from david platt to steven curtis chapman to u.s. congresswomen to foster parents and adoptees. catch up on #summit9 on twitter.

i was there for work, but again, i took away a lot of helpful information for our church, too. our church isn't very big at all, but we already have several couples pursuing or interested in pursuing foster care and/or adoption -- like 10 or 12 out of our close to 60 people! we're trying to figure out what it looks like to love these couples well and support them on their journey.

at some point between all the workshops and networking and coffee breaks and exhibit hall-ing at the conference last week, i stopped long enough for the realization to hit me square between the eyeballs -- i get paid to do something i am crazy passionate about, and that is so incredibly rare. i was suddenly filled with an immense amount of gratitude. all i could do in the next session was cry my little eyes out during worship. i was just so overwhelmed by the fact that i was in a room with 3000 people whose hearts burst for the fatherless, and all of us were singing together lines like, "the fatherless find their rest at the sound of your great name"... and as if that wasn't unbelievable enough, i was getting paid to be there. it's my job to get these passionate people started on their journey of foster care or adoption. what a GIFT!

even better than all of that, i was reminded countless times through these events over the last two weeks of the reason why we do what we do and care about what we care about ("we" meaning the bristers, buckner, prov road, christians...). david platt said it this way at summit:

we advocate for the fatherless because we understand that while we were still sinners, outsiders, orphans, christ died for us and made a way for us to be adopted into his family. we care about foster care and adoption because we realize we ourselves were once chosen, rescued, brought in, and called his own. it's the most beautiful story of unconditional love and inexplicable grace -- and to think he calls us to demonstrate and declare this story to the world! 

"My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us -- perfect love! ... First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first."

-- 1 John 4:11-12, 19

brennan manning.

Brennan Manning, best known for his book, The Ragamuffin Gospel, passed away on Friday morning. I read a couple of his books in college, and in the wake of his recent death, I'm feeling the urge to read him again. He was and through his works he will continue to be an incredible voice proclaiming God's relentless love and grace for us. If you've never read anything by him, I'd highly recommend you do. It will be time well spent, and more importantly, your affections will be stirred for Jesus.

"My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it."
-- The Ragamuffin Gospel

"Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion."
-- Abba's Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging

rock of ages.

last night, our church joined with other acts 29 churches in the okc area for a good friday service. it was simple, beautiful, and powerful... exactly what it needed to be. i was super thankful that several old hymns made it onto the set list. for whatever reason, i was so stirred by the lyrics to "Rock of Ages."

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,

Let me hide myself in Thee;

Let the water and the blood,

From Thy wounded side which flowed,

Be of sin the double cure,

Save from wrath and make me pure.

Not the labor of my hands

Can fulfill Thy law's demands;

Could my zeal no respite know,

Could my tears forever flow,

All for sin could not atone;

Thou must save, and Thou alone.

Nothing in my hand I bring,

Simply to Thy cross I cling;

Naked, come to Thee for dress;

Helpless, look to Thee for grace;

Foul, I to the fountain fly;

Wash me, Savior, or I die.

While I draw this fleeting breath,

When my eyes shall close in death,

When I rise to worlds unknown,

And behold Thee on Thy throne,

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,

Let me hide myself in Thee.

such an incredible reminder that my only hope for salvation is in the cross. i hope you're celebrating your emptiness and his magnificence this weekend. what a gift! what a savior! 

life out of death.

i recently spotted a few flowers on a tree for the first time this spring. true story: i pulled my car over, got out, and snapped a pic of the baby blooms.

and the stunningly blue sky.

i thought my soul was going to burst. i know that sounds dramatic, but it's the absolute truth. i hopped back in my car and proceeded to drive around norman looking for more blooms (never mind the fact that i was originally in a rush to get to the grocery store). i had no idea how much my soul needed to see them, but once i did, i couldn't get enough of them. 

i needed to see life.

more specifically, i needed to see life coming out of death. living flowers out of branches that have been seemingly lifeless for months. come on, people. we can't act like this isn't a big deal. 

i couldn't get over it. just ask the friends we went to dinner with that night. spring was all i wanted to talk about. "i saw blooms on a tree today, y'all. there are flowers coming out of dead sticks. flowers, y'all. it's the most amazing thing. you've gotta see it." (i must have said this series of sentences at least five times... as if they've never seen flowers before. they were sweet to act excited.)

now, about two weeks later, i still can't get over it, even though the tons of bradford pears in norman (like the one pictured above) are covered in blooms. 

beautiful sight, unfortunate smell.

in romans 1.20, paul writes, "for his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made." i love how God knew we would need help knowing what he's like. i'm thankful he knew i would need reminder after reminder after reminder of who he is, so he created plants and trees and sky and wind. how kind and gracious is he?! how can you NOT see his eternal power and divine nature when everywhere you look this time of year LIFE is springing out of DEATH?!

this weekend we'll celebrate the ultimate story of eternal power and divine nature, the ultimate life coming out of death story. don't miss it, y'all. don't miss that all of creation is screaming this story right now. don't miss the opportunity to be overwhelmed all over again by the story of jesus facing death and conquering it with life. he takes our sin and gives us righteousness, takes our grief and gives us joy, takes our weakness and gives us strength, takes our past and gives us hope, takes our darkness and gives us light.

it's a story worth not getting over. don't miss it. 

remembering the basics.

i've recently been pretty disgusted by different "camps" in evangelical christianity lashing out at the other "camps"... not just disagreeing, but name-calling and such. it goes both ways, it's ugly, and it can't possibly fall under loving your enemies -- which if we're honest, it should appall us that any christ-follower would ever treat another christ-follower as an enemy -- and before we play the "i'm not sure 'those people' are christ-followers" card, let's remember it's really never ever ever our place to judge that. all of it puts a terrible taste in my mouth and makes me want to take a step back from whatever this thing is that we're doing -- so i can't even imagine what the world looking on thinks of it.

i came across a familiar verse this morning that was refreshingly simple to my soul:

"For the Lord is good;

his steadfast love endures forever,

and his faithfulness to all generations."

-- psalm 100.5

i'm not putting blinders on, i'm not plugging my ears, i'm not sticking my head in the sand, but i am saying that for my sanity, i have to step back from all the conversations sometimes and remember the basics.

God is good.

God loves with a steadfast, enduring love.

God is faithful... always.

a little happy in my morning spot this week... also refreshingly simple.

i have to remember these things on the daily and i have to remember that this is what it's all about. this is the god the world needs to know... and isn't interesting that the bible says the world will see god if we love one another (1 john 4.12)? that they will identify us as christ-followers if we love one another (john 13.35)? not if we are able to expound on perfect theology or have a stellar understanding of scripture or a private, intimate relationship with him, but if we love each other well?? quite a sobering thought.

i don't really have a pretty bow to tie on this post... i just needed to process some of these thoughts for myself, for my own heart and my own sanity. i want to be known as someone who is for something rather than against something... and what i'm for is knowing a god that is good, loving, and faithful, and helping others know him, too.

{barbed wire and cattle guard pics from christmas at the farm.}

joy dare.

i love the idea of resolutions, but let's be honest, i'm not always great at sticking to them -- but who is? (okay, except for sarah.) i think the only 2012 resolution we successfully stuck with was closing the toilet lid when we flush. not a joke. the bristers are lid-closers now. who wants to brush their teeth with toilet water? sick.

don't get me wrong, we've come up with some great ideas in the last week or so... 2013: the year of actually eating our leftovers. 2013: the year of calling our grandmothers more. 2013: the year i actually change my email address to my married name (it's been 15 months, y'all). 2013: the year we read more and watch tv less. 2013: the year i start remembering to take my reusable bags to the grocery store.

and then, of course, there are the spiritual ones... 2013: the year of praying more... or reading my bible more consistently... or being more intentional in my conversations with people... etc., etc., etc... but how do you measure "more"? it's totally unachievable.

i need something measurable, something achievable. i recently finished the book one thousand gifts. (i wrote a post about it a couple months ago when i started it, mostly because i had fallen in love with the little intro video. go back and check it out.)

i mean, i LOVED this book. it took me a while to get used to her writing style, but once i did, i was just so overwhelmed by it. by the time i finished, i was so ready, so desperate to make eucharisteo a part of me, for gratitude to be part of who i am, for my joy to come from my awareness of who HE is and all HE has done -- in the everyday, no matter the circumstance. because quite literally everything is a gift, whether i recognize it or not, so why not make an effort to notice?

so it was officially decided... 2013: the year of counting 1000 gifts. measurable: clearly. achievable: absolutely. then... it gets better... i was on ann voskamp's blog one day and found a little gem to help me in this gift counting. it's called the joy dare. she gives you three things to look for each day, and by the end of the year, you'll have counted over 1000 gifts. so for example, here's january:

i'm only 8 days in and i'm already loving it. admittedly, it can feel a little cheesy sometimes, but maybe that's okay? even good for me? it feels like a treasure hunt, which i don't hate even a little bit.

so here's to 2013: the year of counting 1000 gifts... and maybe eating a few more leftovers. who's with me??

home.

the wheels could not turn fast enough last friday afternoon as chris and i drove to east texas. i was SO ready to be home for christmas. after our six hour drive (i was over it after 45 minutes), we finally arrived at this house:

our family friends graciously let us have their farm house for the weekend. it was so fun for all of us to be together and kinda feel like we were away from the world. thankfully, the weather was beautiful, so we spent lots of time outside. it was just perfect.

on sunday afternoon, we drove back into town to do christmas eve and christmas day at mom's house:

she's been living there since summer, but this was only my second time to see the new digs. i think it's my favorite place she's lived. it's just got so much character.

so i've been thinking this week... all december i just so badly wanted to go home... and all week since christmas, i've been telling people how good it was to be home... but let's review: i spent time at a house i've only been to a handful of times in my life, then at a house i've only been to once... so was i really home?

absolutely. because home is about presence. home is about being with certain people more than it is about being in a certain place. we could have spent christmas anywhere and i would've felt at home as long as i was with these people (in matching pajamas, of course):

and the more i've let this whole home is about presence thing roll over in my mind, the more i've considered how the same thing is true with the lord.

in the message, eugene peterson translates christ's words in john 15.4 in this way:

"Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you..." 

make your home in me. it's not about my surroundings or circumstances, it's about being in his presence... feeling at home in his presence. feeling like i can wear sweatpants and never put on make-up in his presence. being familiar with his voice. being familiar with his ways. just being with him.

and the fact that he has already made his home in me?! baffling.

national adoption day.

did you know that november is national adoption month? probably. did you know that today is national adoption day? i just learned that! anyway, if you know me at all, you know that everything about adoption makes my heart freak out. i don't think i can read/watch an adoption story with dry eyes... and i'm hoping chris and i will one day have an adoption story of our own!

all of that to get to this -- i read an article from buckner about national adoption month, which led me to this video of francis chan discussing why believers should be about adoption. i just love the way he describes it -- so clearly and so passionately. it's only 2 minutes long, so you have no reason not to watch it -- enjoy!

Francis Chan For Orphan Sunday from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

psalm 100.

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!

Serve the Lord with gladness!

Come into his presence with singing!

Know that the Lord, he is God!

It is he who made us, and we are his;

we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,

and his courts with praise!

Give thanks to him; bless his name!

For the Lord is good;

his steadfast love endures forever,

and his faithfulness to all generations.

the phrase "give thanks" is used over 70 times throughout scripture, and several of those times it is phrased something like this: "Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!" it's all over the place.

the act of giving thanks seems to be unquestionably connected to the act of recognizing his goodness and his steadfast love. why? because, unlike our circumstances, those things are unchanging. i think that's why paul was able to write, "give thanks in all circumstances" (1 thessalonians 5.18) -- because we're not necessarily giving thanks for the circumstances, but for the one who doesn't change even when our circumstances do.

the author of psalm 100 seems to get this connection, too. he calls us to enter the lord's presence with thanksgiving and praise -- why? not because of who we are, what our circumstances are, or how we feel, but because of who the lord is -- the lord is god, he made us, he is good, his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness extends to all generations.

at times, i've for sure questioned his goodness, love, and faithfulness in my life, but i wonder if that's because in those times i've looked for evidences of his goodness, love, and faithfulness in my circumstances, rather than in his character.

i'm in the process of re-learning these things. i feel like i'm learning how to recognize his goodness, love, and faithfulness all over again -- as if for the first time -- and the psalmist was right, the only proper response seems to be praise and thanksgiving.

"The highest form of prayer is to the goodness of God... God only desires that our soul cling to him with all of its strength, in particular, that it clings to his goodness. For of all the things our minds can think about God, it is thinking upon his goodness that pleases him most and brings the most profit to our soul." -- Julian of Norwich, quoted in "one thousand gifts"

one thousand gifts.

ann voskamp's book, one thousand gifts, has been on my nightstand waiting for me to read it now for about four months. in the meantime, i've started following her on twitter, checking her blog occasionally... but for whatever reason i've just let her book collect dust.

then, last week my friend posted a video of ann voskamp on her blog. i'm not completely sure, but i think it's a preview video of a new one thousand gifts bible study. whatever it is, it's fantastic. i sat there watching it (and have watched it again) with tears in my eyes.

she talks about how at an early age, she went through tragedy and her heart became closed off toward God. she talks about how she couldn't see his love and his grace toward her. she talks about how this project of finding one thousand blessings in her life became a journey of restoration. she talks about how gratitude changed her entire perspective on life and allowed her to understand God's love for her.

the tears came because her story sounds way too familiar. i've struggled to understand God's love for me in the last five and a half years. i've tried to keep him at a distance. i've allowed my faith to become something in my head, rather than my heart. on top of that, i've recently felt like i've just been going from job to job, event to event, weekend to weekend... just feeling like i'm existing and getting by rather than really living.

but, i find myself really wanting my heart to be engaged. i want to really live in the moment. i want my affections to be stirred for him. i want to see his love and grace in my life. it may seem scary and difficult sometimes, but i want it desperately.

whether you're in a similar place or not, i hope your heart is encouraged and your perspective is renewed by this video. it's only 20 minutes long, so grab a cup of coffee and enjoy. oh and i'm only a few pages in, but i can already tell you i'd recommend the book, too!

sunrise.

chris was in a wedding in amarillo this last weekend, and on our early morning road trip home yesterday, we were driving due east -- right into the sunrise.

west texas at its finest.

i don't think there's anything as pregnant with expectation as a sunrise, and i don't think there's anywhere better to watch it than west texas. there's just nothing quite like it. we tried to capture the progression -- so much anticipation!

thankful for this visual illustration of the psalmist's thoughts in psalm 130:

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord! O Lord, hear my voice!

Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy!

If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;

my soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen wait for the morning, 

more than watchmen wait for the morning.

O Israel, hope in the Lord! 

For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption.

And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities.

for myself.

one of the first times i ever hung out with chris, we were on a walk and somehow it came up that i had never been to pappasito's. it's been his favorite restaurant for years, and he was somewhat appalled that i'd never been. so, sure enough, on our first date we split fajitas at pappasito's. he was so excited to introduce me to something he loved so much. we've been multiple times since, and now i can honestly say pappasito's fajitas are the best fajitas i've ever had -- not because of how much chris likes them but because i've tasted them for myself... and you just can't beat that garlic butter sauce, y'all.

in john 4, jesus hangs out with a samaritan woman at a water well. he says very jesusy things like, "Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty forever. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." (pretend you aren't sitting on the other side of centuries of sermons and commentaries -- pretend you just heard him say that in the moment -- what?!) then, he proceeds to know crazy things about this woman that no one should've known. so what's her response? like any girl would do, she runs and tells her friends. then comes the good part -- "Many Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman's testimony, 'He told me all that I ever did'... And many more believed because of his word. They said to the woman, 'It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world.'"

did you catch that? some came to faith because of what the woman told them about jesus, but even more came to faith because they actually heard jesus for themselves. the power of another's testimony is absolutely undeniable, but even more powerful still is actually getting to experience it for yourself. chris could tell me a million times how good pappasito's is (and he did), but i didn't really get it until i tasted it for myself.

have you personally tasted the Lord's goodness (psalm 34.8)? or do you know he's good because other people tell you he is? it's so easy to know God through other people. sermons, podcasts, blog posts, books, even conversations with friends... it's so easy to get wrapped up in what other people know about God, how other people relate to him, what he's doing in other people's lives... so easy, in fact, that i've recently caught myself settling for it. the lazy me loves it, the rest of me HATES it.

i want to experience Christ in intimate ways for myself. i want to know the power of the Spirit in my life. i don't want or expect these things because of who i am or anything i've done, but because of who he is and what he's done -- because he's worth it. i don't want to be lazy in my faith. i don't want to miss something he has for me because i'm too busy with things that don't matter.

may we be able to say like the samaritans, "we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world."