expecting, looking, and longing.

"And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]!"
-- Isaiah 30.18, Amplified Bible

i love that the amplified version translates "waits" as "expecting, looking, and longing." waiting can have such a negative connotation. when i read that he's waiting to be gracious to me, it's as if he's tapping his toe, annoyed at my continual failures, just impatiently holding out his grace until i get my life together. but expecting, looking, and longing? that paints an entirely different picture -- one of inexplicable mercy and loving-kindness -- a picture much more in line with the character of God we know to be true from scripture.

i do that way too often. i create a picture of God in my head that just isn't true. i imagine God reacting to things as i would -- impatient, inconsistent, annoyed, indifferent. well no wonder i don't want to spend time with that god. no wonder i have a hard time trusting that god. i think this is why A.W. Tozer wrote, "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us."

so, what if i truly believed -- not just in my head, but deep down in the core of who i am -- that the God i worship is expecting, looking, and longing to be gracious to me, to have mercy on me, to show me loving-kindness?

i think only when i understand that will i be able to spend my life expecting, looking, and longing for Him. because why wouldn't you long for that God? why wouldn't you look to a God who Himself -- His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, His matchless, unbroken companionship -- is better than anything this world has to offer?

i want to live like that. i want to believe it in the depths of my soul and let it transform my life.

these are my thoughts this morning. i have no doubt i'll forget these things by tomorrow morning -- or even this afternoon -- and have to remind myself all over again. thankful for grace.

"My only wish and desire, the one thing I humbly crave to have is the grace to love God, to love Him alone. Beyond that I ask for nothing more." -- St. Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556)