christmas in ethiopia.

i'm leaving today on a buckner trip to ethiopia with a team of about 20 people. pray for us as we love on the sweet children there. pray for health and safety for the team. pray that we experience god in a new way and gain a freshunderstanding of who he is and how he is at work in this world.

three reasons why i'm really excited about this trip:

1. traveling with my entire family. mom's been dreaming of this for years, so we're pretty pumped that it's finally happening. unfortunately, teri's sta

ying home, but it's because she's PREGNANT! i hate that she can't come, but i love that she's carrying the newest little baby crowson. i couldn't love these people more:

2. 10 days in a row with chris! we've been dating long distance for 10 months, and the longest we've ever been together is about 4-5 days, so i can't even fathom getting to see him 10 days in a row! his mom, sister, and brother-in-law are going on the trip too--how fun is that?--so

hopefully they can survive 10 days with my family and the fbc longview crew.

3. getting to see this sweet face. her name is tigist and she's in the school at bantu where we're working all week. she's the cutest and i can't wait to see her again.

lots more reasons, but those are the top 3...

merry christmas!!! thanks for your prayers!

guest post.

my friend and fellow india traveler, kristen nielsen, did a guest series on her blog for advent. she had all different people in her life write about their understanding of advent, and it's been super interesting to read everyone's thoughts. needless to say, i was honored when she asked me to participate.

i'd love for you to read my post, but i also recommend reading her blog in general. the way she thinks never fails to fascinate me, and lucky for us, she's incredible at articulating her thoughts into words. enjoy! and merry christmas!

advent.

in the last couple of years, i've become a huge fan of the advent season. honestly, one of the reasons i've grown to appreciate it is because it makes this time more about christ and less about traditions and family and gifts and all those things that can make christmas a tough season for people missing someone they love. even aside from that aspect of it, i'm realizing that it's a really important time for all believers, and i wish we gave it more attention.

if you haven't already, i suggest you read rob bell's article on advent. i found it super encouraging, and i think you will too. it's a good word on hope and expectation, claiming, "the not yet will be worth it."

if you're looking for an advent guide, a daily reading to keep you focused during this season, buckner has created a really great one this year. check it out here.

finally, the hymn, "come thou long expected jesus," is one of my favorites during the advent season. if you need a good version of it, i'm a big fan of christy nockels' acappella version--duh--on chris tomlin's christmas album. i posted the lyrics last year, but i think they're worth posting again:

come thou long-expected jesus,

born to set thy people free;

from our fears and sins release us,

let us find our rest in thee.

israel's strength and consolation,

hope of all the earth thou art;

dear desire of every nation,

joy of every longing heart.

born thy people to deliver,

born a child and yet a king.

born to reign in us forever,

now thy gracious kingdom bring.

by thy own eternal spirit

rule in all our hearts alone;

by thine all-sufficient merit

raise us to thy glorious throne.

the best sports weekend ever.

it would be hard to overstate how great this weekend was as a sports fan. i don't hate fair-weather fans and band-wagoners, but their excitement pales in comparison to that of actual fans. perhaps to understand this post you should read my previous post about the texas rangers and baylor bears. and maybe read my brother's post on this topic while you're at it.

in short: i had three pretty high expectations going into the weekend for three of my favorite teams. if just one out of the three had actually happened, i would have been thrilled. but no... i got ALL THREE.

1. the texas rangers beat the yankees, clinching a trip to the world series for the first time ever in franchise history. UNBELIEVABLE. i've been cheering for the rangers for as long as i can remember, going to at least a few games each season. baseball was my dad's favorite sport to watch and the rangers were my dad's favorite team. they've never been awesome, but we've always been fans. and this is finally their time. it's such a great story. and you've gotta love josh hamilton. so get your claws, antlers, and ginger ale ready.... we're going to the WORLD SERIES!!!

2. the baylor bears beat kansas state, giving them six wins and making them bowl eligible for the first time in fifteen years. if that wasn't exciting enough, the new polls came out yesterday, and baylor is RANKED!! baylor university is ranked in the TOP 25 in the nation. in FOOTBALL. unfortunately, they've got a pretty tough schedule for the rest of the season, but surely a bowl game is awaiting them in the end. dad would be ecstatic. poor guy always wanted his kids to go to baylor. i guess truett counts, huh?

3. the auburn tigers beat lsu, making them the NUMBER ONE team in the country. beating lsu would've been great in and of itself, but ending up at the top of the BCS rankings for the first time in school history made it a pretty incredible win. also... CAM NEWTON. wow. talk about a heisman-hopeful performance. cam newton for husband... i mean, heisman. i wish i could explain my love for auburn (and especially auburn football), but i've decided it's impossible to understand unless experienced. dramatic, i know, but true. war eagle.

i still have to pinch myself when i think about the fact that these things actually happened. the rangers are going to the world series. the bears are bowl eligible. the tigers are number one in the country. let's go, rangers. sic 'em bears. war damn eagle.

shine.

the david crowder band recently released a music video for their song, "sms(shine)." it's a beautiful song and a fascinating video. enjoy!

lyrics:

send me a sign

a hint, a whisper

fill me with life

'cause i am listening

come break the quiet

breathe your awakening

bring me the light

'cause i am fading

surround me with the rush of angels' wings

shine your light so i can see you

pull me up, i need to be near you

hold me, i need to feel loved

can you overcome this heart that's overcome?

you sent a sign

the hint, o whisper

human, divine

everyone is listening

death laid low

quiet in the night is stirring

all around the rush of angels

o the wonder of the greatest love has come

shine your light so all can see it

lifted up, 'cause the whole world needs it

love has come, what joy to hear it

he has overcome, he has overcome

world series and a bowl game, please.

maybe it's because the rangers clinched the american league west for the first time since 1999...

or maybe it's because the baylor bears are actually playing decent football this year...

but for whatever reason, i've been missing my dad a lot recently.

he would be so proud of these two teams. he would love to watch the rangers play baseball in october. and he would love talking to all his baylor buddies about how the bears might actually go to a bowl game for the first time in over 15 years.

what would he think about josh hamilton and robert griffin III? what would he think about the fact that i go to baylor games as a baylor STUDENT? what would he think about iphones and the ability to get sports scores and updates from your phone? would he hate the bears' white helmets? would he love that the rangers are back to wearing red more like they used to?

anyway, all that to say, i find myself cheering extra hard for the rangers and the bears this year... world series and a bowl game, please.

thoughts from clive staples.

i'm continually thankful for c.s. lewis. i highly recommend this book: a year with c.s. lewis: daily readings from his classic works. lewis always seems to put my thoughts into words in a way that i could never articulate.

i wanted to underline every sentence from september 12th's reading, so i thought it might be a good idea to share it on here. hope it challenges and encourages you, too. enjoy.

Some writers use the word charity to describe not only Christian love between human beings, but also God's love for man and man's love for God. About the second of these two, people are often worried. They are told they ought to love God. They cannot find any such feeling in themselves. What are they to do? The answer is the same as before. Act as if you did. Do not sit trying to manufacture feelings. Ask yourself, 'If I were sure that I loved God, what would I do?' When you have found the answer, go and do it.

On the whole, God's love for us is a much safer subject to think about than our love for Him. Nobody can always have devout feelings: and even if we could, feelings are not what God principally cares about. Christian Love, either towards God or towards man, is an affair of the will. If we are trying to do His will we are obeying the commandment, 'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God.' He will give us feelings of love if He pleases. We cannot create them for ourselves, and we must not demand them as a right. But the great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins, or our indifference; and, therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him.

--from Mere Christianity

a deep, emotional feeling of love for God is something i find myself more often than not merely wishing for. though the chill bumps and fast heart beats come and go, i must continue to choose to love him. it certainly doesn't sound very romantic, but perhaps a covenantal, relational commitment is sometimes a little less picturesque than we might make it out to be. in my flesh, i absolutely cannot muster up a love for him on my own. praise god that he, at times, gives us those overwhelming feelings.

i'm thankful that he is faithful when i am faithless, that his love is relentless when mine is indifferent.

goodbye, summer.

top 10 things i'm going to miss about summer 2010:

(in no particular order and not including india. clearly.)

• swimming pool. i'm seriously considering investing in a kiddie pool for our backyard here in waco.
• baseball games with the fam. at least now i can cheer on the rangers from air conditioning.

• longview restaurants. pizza king's queen's delight. dudley's banana pudding. butcher shop's burgers (and cookies, of course). newk's favorite salad. carlito's zelda. friday lunches at willie g's.
• bike rides with drewby. well, really, just drew in general. i kinda got spoiled living in the same state with him again.

• spontaneous road trips. let's be honest. i'll still be on the road a lot, but much less spontaneously. planning ahead = not as fun.
• sweet family time. lots of packing and moving and crazy schedules, but always good to be together.

• first baptist church, longview. i'm a big fan of my home church and haven't really found one i'm as crazy about in waco.
• wearing shorts and tshirts everyday. people in grad school think they need to dress up for some reason... something about being professional or presentable or serious or something...
• pleasure reading. hello, syllabi.
• arnold palmers. the official drink of summer.

shameless plugs.

the most recent edition of the baptist standard featured a couple articles about some of my favorite people... so, of course, i think you should read them.

1. dr. mike stroope. if you've followed my blog at all, you should be familiar with this name. he's the professor i traveled around india with, and he's the mission guru at truett seminary. the article discusses his thoughts on mission strategies that he presented at the baptist world alliance meeting a couple weeks ago. i like the way he thinks.

2. the bristers. chris' dad is the pastor at first baptist church, duncanville, texas, and this article is about the relationship being built between their church and a community in east india. i may or may not be just a little bit proud.

enjoy!

fix you.

my mom is wrapping up a study on the book of john in her ladies' sunday school class. this morning she was in chapter 19... the cross. it was both heavy and refreshing to sit in on her class today. i realized that, as a believer, i don't think i reflect on/think about/study the cross enough--and maybe there's never a point of "enough" in this area, but surely my focus needs to be there more than it typically is. i want to be more constantly aware of the weight of my sinful nature and the depth of his love and grace.

at the end of her lesson, she showed this video of clips from "the passion of the christ" set to coldplay's "fix you." this song has been a favorite of mine for a while. in the last three years, the words of this song have usually driven me to feelings of grief (almost in a therapeutic way--is that weird?), but today, hearing it while watching the passion unfold, i was driven to feelings of hope and redemption.

"he made him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of god in him." 2 corinthians 5.21 (nasb)

"we know that when jesus was raised from the dead it was a signal of the end of death-as-the-end. never again will death have the last word." romans 6. (the message)

watch the video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rq2yf-uQJHU

how was india?

i've been asked this question countless times in the last few weeks, and i've learned that it's absolutely impossible to answer well. i can't believe i've been back in the states for 2 1/2 weeks. part of me feels like these weeks have flown by, but part of me feels like india was 3 months ago. sometimes i even get that--did i really even go to india?--feeling. dr. stroope warned us that we might get that feeling, but i didn't want to believe him. i guess he was right. again.

i've recently been going through my journal from india over and over again trying to make myself remember different things i felt, experienced, and learned while i was there. there are some issues that are much more absolute to me now than they were before the trip, but there are other issues that have developed into even bigger and broader questions. i think i'll make a list (no one's surprised). obviously it won't be exhaustive--just a few things i'm thinking about and would love for you to think about too...

• living a lifestyle of spiritual devotion--not legalism, but discipline.
• seeking spiritual sensitivity.
• grasping the absolute necessity of prayer and scripture.
• living more simply.
• living slowly.
• recognizing jesus as the only way.
• knowing that jesus is enough.
• understanding who i am in light of who he is.
• recognizing his providence and grace.
• living with my hands open--i am entitled to nothing--everything is a gift.
• seeing people as stories.
• knowing my role as a witness.
• asking questions of gospel, conversion, salvation, mission.
• questioning my questions--am i asking arrogantly or humbly?

in mark 5, after jesus healed a demon-possessed man, the man--of course--wanted to follow him. instead of letting the man stay with him, jesus said to him, "go home to your friends and tell them how much the lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you."

when i get asked the token "how was india?" question, i love to talk about the colors, the smells, the food, the clothes, the people, and the culture of india... but maybe--like the demon-possessed man--my role is to declare god's mercy and faithfulness in my life.

agra and delhi.

before i can write about agra, i have to write about our train experience from varanasi to agra. our train was delayed, so we ended up hanging out on the train platform at the varanasi station for about 3 hours. i can't put into words how hot, sticky, and exhausted we all were. this place was literally the very bottom of the well. we all hit our absolute lowest point of the whole trip. there were fleas literally flying around the beggar children.... rats crawling all over the train tracks.... the most raunchy stench ever coming off of the tracks.... it was definitely the dirtiest and most unsafe i've felt the whole trip.

but good news: we made it. the funny thing is that agra is the most touristy city in india, so we wasted no time crawling up out of that well. we checked into a nice hotel (finally!!) and spent the afternoon touring around the TAJ MAHAL!!!! quite a contrast between the varanasi train station and the taj. there's a reason it's one of the seven wonders of the world....it's absolutely beautiful! the architecture is incredible...so extravagant, but so much attention to intricate detail. so of course we had a photo shoot....but not just with our team--indian men were literally lining up to take pictures with us girls. hilarious.

another highlight from agra was our team meeting yesterday morning. we've taken turns sharing our life stories, and yesterday was finally dr. stroope's turn. that man never fails to challenge and inspire me. after he shared, we took communion together--with naan (indian bread) and limca (an indian sprite-ish soda). it was such a sweet time of serving one another and talking about the suffering and death we'd seen around us in india, the suffering and death christ went through on the cross, and the suffering and death we're called to as his followers.

after a long bus ride yesterday afternoon, we made it to our last stop on the trip--delhi. today we went to a sikh temple, a bahai house of worship, and the place where ghandi was killed. super interesting stuff. tomorrow we're spending time with some of dr. stroope's friends that live here in delhi and do life with hindus. i'm eager to learn from them and excited about the MEXICAN FOOD that they're cooking for us!

late tomorrow night we'll head to the airport and end this journey through india. i can't believe it's almost over. our travel home will be about 24 hours total. crazy! please pray for safety and no delays.

delhi to hong kong to san francisco to dfw.....to birmingham. for those of you going to the hardekopf/hefner wedding this weekend, just know that i can't wait to see you.

varanasi. the holy city.

i can't really explain varanasi to you. this place is so surreal. it's the holiest city of hinduism. the ganges river is the holy water, the lifeblood of the city. hindus come from all over to worship in the ganges. good news: our hotel is literally right on the ganges, so we've gotten an up-close view of all the madness. a couple of times we've taken a boat out on the ganges to see it all from that perspective. the river is where life happens for these people. it's where the sacred and the secular intersect. people are bathing, brushing their teeth, washing their clothes, and performing worship rituals all right there next to each other. so crazy! last night we went to an arti, a worship celebration to the ganges. you can't even begin to fathom the number of people there. it was like a carnival--bells ringing, music playing, people selling things, beggars everywhere, holy men who look like they're dressed up in costumes.... it was sensory overload. so much to take in.

this city is also a big deal for buddhism. today we went out to the tree where buddha received his enlightenment....like where buddhism began. what?! pretty crazy.

on wednesday night, we met with one of stroope's friends, swammi. our time with him was worth the entire trip to india. he's a hindu christ-follower, and his perspective on what it means to follow jesus is absolutely fascinating. i was so challenged and inspired by him. i wish i had more time to go into more detail, but hopefully i can share more thoughts later.

stroope has been saying that this trip is like a journey into a well....and varanasi is the bottom of the well. it overwhelmed me at first, but now that we're about to leave, i think i can say that this has been my favorite city we've visited so far. there's just SO much going on here. so many people, so much devotion, so many stories....it's incredible.

tonight we have another overnight train experience...this time on our way to agra. tomorrow we'll see the taj mahal!!!! what in the world?! this country is amazing. can't wait to post pictures when i get back. i feel like my words fail at describing it.

thanks for your prayers. continue to pray for safety. pray that we'll maximize our last few days here. can't believe it's almost over!

just some thoughts.

quotes i've been thinking on:

"mission is the announcement of a fact. it is not the launching of a program. it is not the promulgation of a new doctrine. it is not a call to moral or religious reformation. it is, strictly speaking, a news-flash. something has happened. there is a new fact to be reckoned with. the kingdom, the reign of god, has come near." --lesslie newbigin.

"for not for this life and its concerns do we exist: this is only a pilgrimage, and its concerns are only for the temporary needs of the pilgrims. heaven is our country, hence our care should be about heavenly things." --john amos comenius.

"we have been created for greater things, to love and to be loved." --mother teresa.

things i will never get used to:

• dr. stroope eating with his hands.
• never ever ever not sweating.
• naked babies begging on the side of the road.
• massive amounts of street children.
• saying no to people asking for money or food.
• trash everywhere....i mean, literally everywhere.
• men peeing on the side of the road all the time.
• being stared at always.
• crazy traffic and psycho driving.
• elephants, camels, horses, donkeys, cows, dogs, cats.....everywhere. just hanging out in the middle of the street like they own the place...maybe because the cows actually do. the animals here are treated better than a lot of the people. terrible. oh but sidenote: i got to ride a camel on my last night in jaipur. yep. i freaked out.
  
• a BILLION people in this one country.
  
• favoring tea over coffee. no no no.
• no tex-mex.
  

questions i can't quit wrestling with:

• what is mission?
• what is the westerner's role in a place like this?
• what is the kingdom of god?
• what would it look like for the gospel to intersect this culture?
• is this way of life somehow ordered chaos or just a chaotic mess?
• do i love well? do i live with purpose?
• am i devoted to what i know is the truth even half as much as these people are devoted to golden calves, elephants, and handmade idols?
  
• do i really believe that god created every single one of these people?
• do i really believe that god loves every single one of these people?
• for someone who literally spends their entire life picking up trash and begging--what is their purpose? why where they created?
• is god going to save some of them?

just some thoughts. thanks for not thinking i'm crazy.

i can't come up with words to describe calcutta. the poverty here is so in-your-face, so intense, so unlike anything i've ever seen. seeing mother teresa's tomb and where she lived was kinda overwhelming for me. working in her house for disabled children is even more overwhelming. we're here until tuesday night when we'll take a train to varanasi. this trip is so unbelievable, but so good. thanks for your prayers.

jaipur. jai ho!

jaipur is such a cool city. the old part of the city is all painted PINK! they painted it back in the day as a sign of hospitality, and it still remains a dusty pink-ish color. pretty cool. so jaipur is in a desert, in the state of rhajasthan. just know that desert = CAMELS. y'all. like walking down the street in the middle of the road. so we're talking monkeys, camels, cows, horses, donkeys, elephants....not like at the zoo, but in the midst of everyday life.....what?!? this place is so unreal. i LOVE it.

dr. stroope has a friend here who loves on hindus in this city. it's been cool to get to know him and his team. they're doing a good thing. they have to be super careful with their cover, so i can't write much, but pray for them. if i were in their shoes, it would be so easy to be overwhelmed and feel so unbelievably hopeless....but they have such great faith. it's inspiring.

walked through the city this morning praying and reading scripture. talk about powerful. it was an incredible experience. so much going on here....so many people, so much life and energy. this place is so unique.

tonight we're going to the choki danni cultural center--lots of music, dancing, acrobats, elephants, food, etc. it's going to be AWESOME.

remember how i'm in INDIA?! it blows my mind every single day. pray that i'll make the most of every opportunity and take advantage of my time here.

headed to calcutta tomorrow morning. to walk and serve where mother teresa walked and served will be a dream come true. can't wait to write about it.

cochin.

okay so cochin is beautiful. as far as scenery goes, it's easily my favorite place we've been so far. everything is so lush and green here! it's incredible! it's only about 10 degrees north of the equator, so it's pretty tropical. also, it's monsoon season, which means it rains at least once a day--definitely thankful for the cooler weather. another random thing you should know about cochin--it's one of the most christian places in all of india. it's about 1/3 hindu, 1/3 muslim, and 1/3 christian. that's HUGE. i kind of love that they all know how to live with each other peacefully...maybe another thing we could learn from them...

the place where we're staying is literally across the street from the arabian sea....no big deal. we watched the sunset last night on the beach--maybe one of my favorite moments of the entire trip.

this morning we went to st. francis church. it's somewhat like india's version of westminster abbey. vasco de gama died here in cochin and was buried at st. francis for fourteen years until his body was moved back to portugal. pretty cool to see his tomb i guess.

spent some time at a fishing market. fishing is HUGE here. we even got to help bring in the nets! the fishermen LOVED us.

there's a part of cochin known as "jew town." unfortunately, all the jews that used to live here have moved back to israel, but it's still a cool part of town. the oldest synagogue in the entire british commonwealth is there--pretty neat.

tonight we went to a kathakali show. basically it's a play/dance with no speaking but lots of music and crazy make-up and costumes. it was definitely a cultural experience....i mean, way bizarre, but definitely fun.

bright and early tomorrow morning we leave for jaipur. it'll be quite a transition from the tropics to the desert, but i'm excited to see the city and be hosted by some of dr. stroope's friends. thanks for your prayers. can't wait to update again soon.

highlights from hyderabad.

the three days we spent in hyderabad were three of the most fun days i've had in a long time. the majority of our time was spent preparing for and attending a WEDDING--we got to go to an indian wedding!! how fun is that?! i could write forever about our time there, but i'll try to stick to bullet points again...

• meeting sagar and his family. sagar is a truett alum that has now moved back to india to minister to the banjara people with his family. they have an incredible story and are just overall really great people. his laugh is so contagious and his wife is one of the most graceful people i've been around. his brother, vijay, was the one getting married. keep reading...it gets really fun.
  
• shopping for indian clothes. all the women in india basically wear two types of clothing: the shalwar kamis and the sari. (go ahead and google image those. so cool.) most of the girls that have come with stroope on past trips have purchased a shalwar kamis, but we also got to get saris for the wedding! they're absolutely beautiful. the entire shopping experience took at least 2 1/2 hours--there were no two shalwar kamises alike, so of course it took forever for us to pick out our favorites, then we had to pick out material for our saris, get measured for the blouses, then buy petticoats to match. sagar's sweet wife, kalyani, helped us through the whole thing--it was crazy, but so fun!
• eating at a kfc in india. fried chicken never tasted so good.
• attending a 10 year anniversary service for a church in the middle of the slums. incredible people. they sang for us, we sang for them, stroope gave a message, we did a skit...it was way fun.
  
• hyderabad is the major city for islam in india. this was my first encounter ever with islam--mosques everywhere, women in burkas....it was really interesting.
• conversations with sagar and his wife over chai and cookies at their apartment. america needs to pick up this afternoon goodness.
• HENNA TATTOOS!!! all the women were getting henna for the wedding, so of course we wanted to too. both hands and both forearms are covered. it's SOOOO cool. i absolutely love it. (don't freak out, sarah. it should be faded by your wedding...)
• preparing the bridegroom (vijay) for the wedding. the night before the wedding the family and close friends have a big celebration to prepare the bridegroom, and we got to attend! they asked dr. stroope to give a blessing--he did an amazing job. every guy needs to hear his thoughts on marriage. unbelievable. okay so then it turned into a paint party. basically vijay got covered in yellow rice and a yellow curry/paint concoction. then everyone joined in on the fun--yellow paint on the feet for all the women, on the face for everyone....it was so unreal. then it turned into a dance party!! some of the indian girls taught us some moves, which you know i absolutely loved...and i may or may not have ended up having a dance off with an indian boy named kisho. it was SO fun!! i thought it was all fun and games until he brought his dad to meet me....what?! no thank you, arranged marriage...
• shopping at charminar--the main marketplace area in hyderabad. the central point is a roundabout, and from there stem all these different streets full of little shops. the street we went to was bangle row....i mean, shop after shop after shop of BANGLES!! every woman in india wears bangles everyday--so for a wedding they really bring out the bling. so again, of course we wanted to participate. i probably spent too much money, but come on, you can never have too many bangles, right?
  
• getting ready for the wedding felt like we were getting ready for prom. a sweet indian lady helped us put on our saris--it took about 20 minutes per girl. crazy, huh? we were so pumped. saris, bangles, earrings, henna tattoos, make-up (for the first and only time the whole trip)....we were lookin' good....and the boys looked pretty sharp in their kurtas, too.
  
• crashing the wedding. seriously. all attention was on the 13 white people wearing indian garb. ha! but the family loved it. everyone wanted pictures of us and with us. it was crazy! the wedding itself was pretty interesting. both families are christian, so it was held in an anglican church. the reception was outside--probably about 1500-2000 people there--oh and don't worry that they just let random people off the street come join the party. kinda crazy, but kinda cool, huh? lots of food, lots of picture taking, lots of music....so fun.
• mango party. it's definitely mango season here and hyderabad has some of the best mangoes in the whole country. dr. stroope surprised us with a ton of mangoes one night during our team time. they were absolutely delicious!
• long delay in the hyderabad airport waiting for our flight to cochin. spent lots of time at the coffee shop...definitely some much needed down time. this country needs to increase their intake of brewed coffee...just throwin' that out there. i told dr. stroope i was addicted to coffee and he said, "as a fellow coffee addict, i like to think of it as a devotion." yep. couldn't agree more.
  

sorry that was long, but i hope you got a glimpse of how much fun we had in hyderabad. pray for sagar and his family's ministry. they've got incredible vision and they're doing some really amazing things.

now we're in cochin--a city on the coast of the arabian sea (OMG!) and the most southern city we'll visit on our trip. it's absolutely beautiful. can't wait to see more of it tomorrow. thanks for reading these long posts. hope to write again soon...

more on mamallapuram.

on our tour day in mamallapuram i think we literally saw every ancient hindu temple or structure that ever existed. okay maybe not really, but it was a long day and so unbelievably hot. keep in mind, too, that we take our shoes off every time we enter a temple....which means walking around on scorching hot rock....which means our feet were burning. good thing my feet are tough, right? i've never been so thankful for callouses in my life.

we really did see some pretty unreal stuff--some of the oldest hindu temples in all of india--like 6th century kind of stuff. one of the temples we saw doesn't even function as a place of worship anymore because it's been turned into a national monument--like india's version of stonehenge. at one of the temples we were each individually prayed over by a hindu priest. after the prayer, he gave us all jasmine flowers and marked our foreheads. pretty interesting, huh? at another temple, the town was having a temple celebration, complete with a parade around the entire town. the temple chariot was about three times larger than any baylor homecoming parade float i've ever seen. we thought it was a building until it started moving. highlight of the day: ELEPHANTS. clearly they were the best part of the temple parade. i absolutely freaked out. the temple tour was long, but it really was interesting and we got to interact with a lot of cool indians along the way. the secular and sacred are so intertwined here. i think christianity in the west could learn a lot from that. just a thought.

i think when i saw the elephants in the street is when i realized--india is absolutely unlike any place i've ever been. i mean, there is nowhere else in the world like this. it's so unbelievable.

chennai/mamallapuram.

we made it to INDIA!!!

we were pretty exhausted when we finally got to chennai yesterday, so we spent the rest of the day resting, eating, and playing apples to apples...or apps to apps if you're a fan of abbreves. you're welcome. we stayed at the ymca--not terrible, but not awesome...just fine.

we woke up this morning and went to st. andrew's church in chennai. very english and formal--such a stark contrast to its surroundings, but such an indicator of former british control. singing "holy, holy, holy" with a congregation of indians was just about worth the entire trip for me. sidenote: st. andrew's is home to one of only three pipe organs in the entire country of india. first baptist longview would be so proud.

after church, we spent the afternoon touring around chennai. we went to a museum of hindu gods and i officially decided that nataraja is my favorite. she's the master of dance and has long curly hair. clearly, she wins. we also went to st. thomas' basilica. supposedly st. thomas (the apostle) came to india back in the day and then ended up being killed here...so this church was built on top of his tomb. i'm typically a skeptic when it comes to these things, but thomas was the doubting disciple, so i guess i'm in good company, huh?

we took about a 30 minute bus ride to mamallapuram...lots of cows on the side of the road (thank you, hinduism), lots of poverty, lots of beautiful saris...kinda crazy. we made it to mamallapuram and checked into a RESORT. seriously. who knew stroope had this little surprise up his sleeve? they greeted us with flower necklaces and gave us all bendis (red dot on your forehead). when we got inside they gave us all cookies and fresh lime soda. what?! SO fun!!

we just took about a 45 minute walk on the beach...sunset on our right, bay of bengal on our left. pretty unbelievable. i was slightly overwhelmed actually. looking out at the ocean always makes me feel small, but being in a place i've never been before and will probably never be again is so crazy. i'm trying to love every single minute of it.

tomorrow we'll see several temples and ancient architectural structures around mamallapuram, then on tuesday we'll head to hyderabad. is this real life? i'm in INDIA!!!!

hey from h.k.

if you don't know how excited i was about coming to hong kong, you should check this post from april. needless to say, i was pretty pumped. i've been wanting to see this city for a few years now, so spending the last few days here has literally been a dream come true.

we got here early wednesday morning and literally spent all day hiking around the city, seeing all the sights. dr. stroope called it his "infamous hong kong death march." funny. this is such an incredible place. it feels a lot like new york city, but even more international (obviously). there's not a single culture here--it's a melting pot of hundreds of cultures. it doesn't even feel weird to be an american walking around because there are SO many different nationalities represented here. it's pretty fascinating actually.

on thursday, we met with some staff members at kowloon international baptist church. a truett alum is on staff there and a couple of current truett students are interning there for the summer. the senior pastor is one of my former pastors at my home church in longview. it was really great to catch up with him and to hear about what church looks like for them in hong kong.

some of my favorite people in the world live in this city. there's a group of 15 people that moved from auburn to hong kong last fall and have been living here trying to figure out how to love on university students here. grace campus ministries has been through such a journey in the last year. it was really fun to see them and to hear where they are in this crazy process. the director, matt dean, met with my group for coffee. of course i loved introducing the team to someone who means the world to me, but maybe more importantly, it was good to hear the struggles they've faced this year. i think it's tempting to have a romantic idea of moving overseas and loving on people, but realistically it's not that easy. i was so thankful their honesty and humility.

the rest of the team spent last night seeing more sights around the city, but dr. stroope let me get away with my auburn friends. i don't think he could possibly know how much that meant to me. it was so fun to see their world here--their apartments, the turkish restaurant where they eat every tuesday night, their mtr (subway) stations, etc. every thursday night they have a team dinner at the deans' apartment, so i was pretty excited about getting to be a part of that. last night's team dinner was actually a surprise baby shower for the littlepages--how fun is that?! i can't believe they're going to be parents SO soon. we had a blast eating good homemade mexican food (such a rarity on this side of the world), playing baby shower games, giving them gifts, and watching the office. spending so much time with the deans, the littlepages, jason, malorie, katie, and the rest of the team was so refreshing. i'm so thankful for these people and count them as some of my deepest and closest friends. the way they are knowing the lord and following him in faith here is both encouraging and challenging to me.

this morning we met with a guy named sam say. he lives in hong kong but has started an organic coffee farm in laos. it's an incredible story and an incredible means of reaching such an unreached country. i would do a terrible job of explaining it, so check the website to learn more about it...and while you're at it, buy some of their coffee! it's delicious! he was absolutely inspirational--his passion, his heart for the people of laos, the innovative and creative ways he thinks--it was a fascinating conversation.

we leave tonight for INDIA. it's finally here. we fly from hong kong to delhi to chennai, where we'll spend the next three days. i have no idea what internet access will look like as we travel from city to city, but i'll try to post as often as i can. thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayer support.

i already can't wait to write about our next adventures...

l.a.

we landed in l.a. on saturday morning and flew out on monday night. i had no idea that my mind could be blown in only 3ish days. our hosts were aaron and stephanie glenn, 2 truett alums that went on this same trip to india with dr. stroope 6 years ago. now they live in l.a. and work with hindu students on the campus of usc.

if i write in paragraph form, i'll end up writing a novel, so let's bullet point the highlights:

• aaron and stephanie are phenomenal. they truly live out romans 12, loving genuinely and outdoing others in showing honor. i pray i can develop such a gift of hospitality. they love their students deeply and want them to know what it means to love jesus.
• some of their hindu students showed us around a hindu temple one morning, then hung out with us at the beach and for a pizza/LOST finale party that night. just asking the right questions and being willing to listen can lead to some pretty fascinating conversations.
  
• i love college football. seeing the rose bowl = dream come true.
  
• malibu beach is beautiful. hiking a mountain while looking at the ocean is pretty unreal.
• the dean of religious life at usc is a hindu. we learned so much from him about hinduism and hindu nationalism in india. he spoke about ways christianity and hinduism could learn from each other, ways they're alike and ways they're different, what to expect in india in terms of the various religions, etc. he's brilliant and super interesting.
  
• everywhere the dean told us to visit in india is already on our itinerary. dr. stroope: "cara jane, i don't plan b team trips. this is an a team tour." well, perfect. this ain't his first rodeo, i guess.
• dr. stroope outside of the classroom = HILARIOUS.
• i fell asleep during the LOST finale, but that's okay, because let's be honest...it was slightly disappointing anyways, right?
  
• we had a conversation with a guy named h.l. richard. he's one of the leading voices on rethinking hindu/christian relations. talk about a character. he lived in india for over 20 years and has done an immense amount of research on top of that, so his knowledge was mind-boggling, and his views and perspectives on mission were definitely outside of the box.
  
• a few questions that are already making my head hurt: what is the gospel? what is conversion? what does "salvation" look like? what does it mean for a hindu to love jesus? how much of christianity is cultural and how much is biblical? and this is only the tip of the iceberg....
• people-watching at LAX = a fantastic pastime.

okay that's all for now. i'm sure i'll try to post more thoughts after our days of trekking around hong kong. you know i'm excited. thank you for your continued prayers. as dr. stroope prayed yesterday, "we pray not because we know how to, but because we know we need to." amen.

let's get this party started.

funny that i haven't blogged in the last 6 weeks and the last post was about going to hong kong...

welp...the big day is finally here. what in the world.

i leave this morning for a couple of days in l.a. before we take off for hong kong. we'll spend about 3 days in hk, then we'll venture into india. here's a glimpse at our itinerary:

May

22: Dallas to Los Angeles

24: Los Angeles to Hong Kong

28: Hong Kong to Delhi

29: Delhi to Chennai / Mamallapuram

June

1: Mamallapuram to Hyderabad

4: Hyderabad to Cochin

7: Cochin to Jaipur

10: Jaipur to Kolkatta

15: Kolkatta to Varanasi

18: Varanasi to Agra

20: Agra to Delhi

22: Delhi to Hong Kong to San Francisco to Dallas

i'm not sure how often i'll be able to communicate, but i think blog posts will be my best bet, so check back here every now and then for updates. i'll try to post as often as i can.

i'm definitely excited, but also anxious. thanks for your much needed prayers.

hk.

every wednesday and friday morning until we leave, our india team is meeting to pray about our trip. today we spent our time together praying for hong kong.

our first few days on the other side of the world will be spent in this city. i've heard so many stories and seen so many pictures...i can't even wait to experience it for myself. i'm looking forward to learning from and loving on believers there, including people from kowloon baptist church. my former pastor from longview pastors there now. i can't wait for the opportunity to sit with him and his staff and to hear what church looks like for them.

of course my heart freaks out at the thought of going to hong kong because of my friends at grace campus. what an incredible group of people with hearts that beat for that city and for the university students there. they're some of my favorite people in the world, so i can't wait for my team to meet them and for us to get a glimpse into their world. i'm counting down the days till i get to see these faces:

i'm excited and expectant. thanks for praying with me.

see you in 6 weeks, hong kong.

choose.

welcome to that time of the semester when i spend more hours in the library than sleeping in my bed. gross. needless to say, maintaining a good perspective on life can kinda be a challenge during this season.

my mom emailed me the lyrics to this song a few weeks ago, and it's been stuck in my head ever since. a couple thoughts: 1. i hope i can be the kind of mom one day that pushes her children to know the lord. 2. these words challenge me and i hope they will challenge you, too. it's not very romantic to think of a relationship as a matter of making choices, but i think realistically, maybe it is.

"choose," by christy nockels.

let me be in love with what you love.

let me be most satisfied in you.

forsaking what this world has offered me,

i choose to be in love with you.

i will choose to be in love with you.

let me know the peace that's mine in you.

let me know the joy my heart can sing.

for i have nothing, lord, apart from you.

i choose to call on christ in me.

i will choose to call on christ in me.

for in the fullness of who you are,

i can rest in this place.

and giving over this, my journey, lord,

i see nothing but your face.

let me know that you have loved me first.

let me know the weight of my response.

for you have long pursued my wandering heart.

i choose to glory in your cross.

i will choose to glory in your cross.

and i bow down...

humbly, i bow down...

i bow down, i bow down to you...

happy spring.

this season never fails to do a number on my soul. every year i'm overwhelmed all over again with the sense of hope and expectancy that spring brings. especially this year, after a winter of crazy weather, the sunshine, blue skies, and blooming flowers are so refreshing.

spent some time this morning thinking on the countless promises of newness found in scripture. just thought i'd share a few of my favorites on here.

a new song. psalm 40.1-3: "i waited patiently for the lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. he drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. he put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our god. many will see and fear, and put their trust in the lord."

a new thing. isaiah 43.18-19: "remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. behold, i am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? i will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

a new commandment. john 13.34: "a new commandment i give to you, that you love one another: just as i have loved you, you also are to love one another."

a new creation. 2 corinthians 5.17-18: "therefore, if anyone is in christ, he is a new creation. the old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

a new self. ephesians 4.23-24: "put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new self, created after the likeness of god in true righteousness and holiness."

a new covenant. hebrews 9.15: "therefore he is the mediator of a new covenant, so that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance, since a death has occurred that redeems them from the transgressions committed under the first covenant."

praise god he's in the business of deconstructing and reconstructing, taking old and making new. happy spring.

musings from mozart's.

for the last two years, february 27th has been a day of intense emotion and anxiety, with memories of that day in 2007 flooding my mind and leaving me feeling like i can't catch my breath.

praise god saturday wasn't like that.

there's such freedom in realizing that those feelings can (and do) certainly come and go, but they don't have to be governed by a date on the calendar.

i actually spent the day in austin with some friends, and got to spend the afternoon at mozart's, which is easily one of the coolest coffee shops i've ever been to. it was good to spend a few hours like this:

i don't know how best to articulate this, but i can't get away from the feeling that he's bringing me back around. he's wooing me back to him. where i used to think about god and feel so angry and betrayed and scared, now i feel peace and trust and security. where it all used to make me want to run away or keep him at an arm's length, now it makes me want to press into him.

perhaps it's no coincidence that i've been reading a henri nouwen book called the return of the prodigal son. i highly recommend it. here's a section from one of the last chapters, "the father welcomes home." i wanted to highlight every word and scream "YES!" at the end of every sentence.

For most of my life I have struggled to find God, to know God, to love God. Now I wonder whether I have sufficiently realized that during all this time God has been trying to find me, to know me, and to love me. The question is not 'How am I to find God?' but 'How am I to let myself be found by him?' The question is not 'How am I to know God?' but 'How am I to let myself be known by God?' And, finally, the question is not 'How am I to love God?' but 'How am I to let myself be loved by God?'

I am beginning now to see how radically the character of my spiritual journey will change when I no longer think of God as hiding out and making it as difficult as possible for me to find him, but, instead, as the one who is looking for me while I am doing the hiding. When I look through God's eyes at my lost self and discover God's joy at my coming home, then my life may become less anguished and more trusting.

Can I accept that I am worth looking for? Do I believe that there is a real desire in God to simply be with me?

sorry for such a long excerpt, but i feel like it perfectly describes where i am--longing to surrender my struggle and to let myself be found and known and loved by god...and trying to believe that he hasn't given up on me but desires to be with me...

i have to believe that i'm not alone in these thoughts. so whoever you are, i hope you're encouraged.

i have a reason to sing.

we sang hillsong's "desert song" in church yesterday and it's been stuck in my head ever since. i'm sure most of you know the song, and if you don't, you should probably go to itunes right now and purchase it. the lyrics are convicting and encouraging. i've been needing a fresh reminder of these promises. in every season, he is God. he alone is provider, refiner, and my victory. on the good days and on the hard days, i have a reason to worship.

enjoy.

this is my prayer in the desert,

when all that's within me feels dry.

this is my prayer in my hunger and need,

my God is the God who provides.

and this is my prayer in the fire,

in weakness or trial or pain.

there is a faith proved of more worth than gold,

so refine me Lord through the flame.

this is my prayer in the battle,

when triumph is still on its way.

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ,

so firm on his promise I'll stand.

all of my life, in every season,

you are still God,

i have a reason to sing,

i have a reason to worship.

i will bring praise, i will bring praise,

no weapon formed against me shall remain.

i will rejoice, i will declare,

God is my victory and he is here.

and this is my prayer in the harvest,

when favor and providence flow.

i know i'm filled to be emptied again,

the seed i've received i will sow.

suffering well.

i have no doubt that anyone reading this blog has heard of matt chandler and his fight against brain cancer. the associated press recently released an article about him that has been published in newspapers across the country. if you haven't already, you really should read it. it's incredibly well-written. praise god that such a powerful word has been read by so many.

i've now read the article about three times, and each time my heart is challenged and convicted. my mind is racing with questions, so i keep reading it thinking i might find answers, but instead, the questions just race faster. so rather than presenting some organized, eloquent thoughts on the matter, i simply come with a list of questions. feel free to jump in and be a part of the processing.

• how does "suffering well" translate from enduring a fight against cancer to grieving the death of someone you love?
• has he really only asked "why me?" once? is it okay that i ask that question almost daily?
• his calvinist theology is clearly communicated through this article. as always, it makes me slightly uncomfortable, but i can't help wondering: is it the secret to his ability to maintain such a perspective on suffering?
• "he says he feels grateful that God has counted him worthy to endure it. he has always preached that God will bring both joy and suffering..." is it necessary to believe that second sentence in order to have the sense of gratitude described in the first?
• during the last three years, have i grieved well? do i have regrets?
• have i remained steadfast, or do i "grieve as others do who have no hope"? (1 thessalonians 4.13)
• in the last three years, have i endured this trial in such a way as to point others to the gospel? in the future, will i face trials in such a way as to point others to the gospel?

in today's my utmost for his highest reading, oswald chambers writes:

"The one passion of Paul's life was to proclaim the Gospel of God. He welcomed heartbreaks, disillusionments, tribulation, for one reason only, because these things kept him in unmoved devotion to the Gospel of God."

may we be unmoved in our devotion to the gospel. may we learn to suffer well.

revelation 7.9-10.

i was in dallas this weekend and had the joy of attending one of my favorite churches--park cities baptist. this church is full of good people who love others deeply and generously. they have an unbelievable hispanic ministry that has welcomed with open arms countless hispanic families in the area.

i met up with a friend at the traditional morning worship service, and afterwards she invited me to the spanish service in the gym. i'm so glad she did. the gym was packed with precious families and children singing beautiful songs and hearing a powerful message. i've decided that the times when i have most vividly experienced the kingdom of god have been the opportunities i've had to worship cross-culturally in a foreign language. though i've done this in multiple countries around the world, there was something significant about worshipping cross-culturally here in america with sweet families that live down the street from this very wealthy, predominantly white church. praise god that this church has figured out how to get over themselves and love people that don't look just like them.

if you haven't ever been around singing, praying, preaching, or scripture reading in a language other than english, i recommend it....asap. we have to realize that the kingdom of god is bigger than us white americans. in fact, if we're honest, we'll recognize that the church is actually growing exponentially faster in places that don't speak english than places that do.

i can't wait for heaven. i can't wait to worship with "a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, 'salvation belongs to our god who sits on the throne, and to the lamb!'"

here's a line from my favorite song we sang:

submergeme, en el rio de tu espiritu.

necesito refrescar este seco corazon.

sediento de ti.

home.

i've been thinking a lot about home recently--not necessarily my house in longview or my apartment in waco, but just home. what is it and why do i crave it?

when i think of home, i think of sweatpants. i'm thankful for jeans, but after a busy day, i like to be comfortable and warm. when i think of home, i think of coffee mugs. i'm thankful for paper cups at starbucks when i'm on the go, but using a mug means you plan to stay for a while. when i think of home, i think of washing my face. i'm thankful for make-up, but at home, nobody cares if i have a breakout or blonde eyelashes. when i think of home, i think of honest conversations. i'm thankful when people ask, "how are you?," but aren't they slightly annoyed if you say something other than "good"? at home, when someone asks how you're doing, they expect to hear it all. it's a place where people want to get excited for you or get upset with you.

interestingly, in john 15 (the message), christ says, "make yourselves at home with me." he goes on to say, "i've loved you the way my father has loved me. make yourselves at home in my love." he invites me to put on my sweatpants, wash my face, find a coffee mug i like, and sit on the couch with him, telling him all about my day. do i get that? do i desire that? or am i the cool college student that thinks i can go a whole semester without going home? am i willing to let myself get that comfortable and honest with him?

henri nouwen writes, "Home is the center of my being where I can hear the voice that says: "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests"--the same voice that gave life to the first Adam and spoke to Jesus, the second Adam; the same voice that speaks to all the children of God and sets them free to live in the midst of a dark world while remaining in the light. When I hear that voice, I know that I am home with God and have nothing to fear."

perhaps this old hymn says it best:

come home, come home;

ye who are weary come home;

earnestly, tenderly, jesus is calling,

calling, o sinner, come home!