revelation 7.9-10.

i was in dallas this weekend and had the joy of attending one of my favorite churches--park cities baptist. this church is full of good people who love others deeply and generously. they have an unbelievable hispanic ministry that has welcomed with open arms countless hispanic families in the area.

i met up with a friend at the traditional morning worship service, and afterwards she invited me to the spanish service in the gym. i'm so glad she did. the gym was packed with precious families and children singing beautiful songs and hearing a powerful message. i've decided that the times when i have most vividly experienced the kingdom of god have been the opportunities i've had to worship cross-culturally in a foreign language. though i've done this in multiple countries around the world, there was something significant about worshipping cross-culturally here in america with sweet families that live down the street from this very wealthy, predominantly white church. praise god that this church has figured out how to get over themselves and love people that don't look just like them.

if you haven't ever been around singing, praying, preaching, or scripture reading in a language other than english, i recommend it....asap. we have to realize that the kingdom of god is bigger than us white americans. in fact, if we're honest, we'll recognize that the church is actually growing exponentially faster in places that don't speak english than places that do.

i can't wait for heaven. i can't wait to worship with "a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, 'salvation belongs to our god who sits on the throne, and to the lamb!'"

here's a line from my favorite song we sang:

submergeme, en el rio de tu espiritu.

necesito refrescar este seco corazon.

sediento de ti.

home.

i've been thinking a lot about home recently--not necessarily my house in longview or my apartment in waco, but just home. what is it and why do i crave it?

when i think of home, i think of sweatpants. i'm thankful for jeans, but after a busy day, i like to be comfortable and warm. when i think of home, i think of coffee mugs. i'm thankful for paper cups at starbucks when i'm on the go, but using a mug means you plan to stay for a while. when i think of home, i think of washing my face. i'm thankful for make-up, but at home, nobody cares if i have a breakout or blonde eyelashes. when i think of home, i think of honest conversations. i'm thankful when people ask, "how are you?," but aren't they slightly annoyed if you say something other than "good"? at home, when someone asks how you're doing, they expect to hear it all. it's a place where people want to get excited for you or get upset with you.

interestingly, in john 15 (the message), christ says, "make yourselves at home with me." he goes on to say, "i've loved you the way my father has loved me. make yourselves at home in my love." he invites me to put on my sweatpants, wash my face, find a coffee mug i like, and sit on the couch with him, telling him all about my day. do i get that? do i desire that? or am i the cool college student that thinks i can go a whole semester without going home? am i willing to let myself get that comfortable and honest with him?

henri nouwen writes, "Home is the center of my being where I can hear the voice that says: "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests"--the same voice that gave life to the first Adam and spoke to Jesus, the second Adam; the same voice that speaks to all the children of God and sets them free to live in the midst of a dark world while remaining in the light. When I hear that voice, I know that I am home with God and have nothing to fear."

perhaps this old hymn says it best:

come home, come home;

ye who are weary come home;

earnestly, tenderly, jesus is calling,

calling, o sinner, come home!

a thrill of hope.

i realized sitting in the christmas eve service tonight that i've been dealing with christmas this year like i deal with cold weather: i don't love cold weather, but there's nothing i can really do about it, so i just have to bundle up and hope i get inside again before it makes me too miserable. this is exactly how i've been getting through this christmas season. i haven't been shocked by it (1st year), or angered by it (2nd year), but maybe just bothered by it... and since there's not much i can do about it, i've simply braced myself and hoped to survive.

but i recognized tonight that in bracing myself for the season of christmas i've missed out on the message of christmas. (read "message" as "reason", though i couldn't bring myself to use the word "reason" due to the countless times i've rolled my eyes at "jesus is the reason for the season" church marquees.) this year, rather than my mind being captivated by the story and my heart being engaged in worship, i've done my best to keep it all at an arms-length so as not to get emotionally involved.

however, it's hard to keep emmanuel at an arms-length. emmanuel. god with us. surely that is the "good news of a great joy that will be for all the people" that the angels were talking about. it is good news to me that "the word became flesh and dwelt among us" (john 1.14). it is good news to me that "we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses" (hebrews 4.15). i find a great joy in this emmanuel, this savior that would come to see and feel and hear and hurt and weep and laugh and struggle and ache and love.

so tonight, as i squeezed like a sardine onto a church pew packed with me and about 20 of my relatives, i felt my weary heart rejoicing--thankful for a family i couldn't love more, thankful for the opportunity to worship, and thankful for emmanuel.

a thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,

for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

fall on your knees.

oh hear the angel voices.

oh night divine.

oh night when christ was born.

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas...?

i'm not sure where december came from, because i absolutely still feel like it should be october. regardless, december is here, and everyone around me seems to be bubbling with christmas spirit. i literally feel like i've had to force myself to muster up some christmas cheer. i've been drinking hot cider and hot cocoa, eating little debbie christmas tree cakes, listening to christmas music every now and then...we even went to the christmas tree lighting and went ice skating...

...and all of this has been a lot of fun, but i just feel like i've been missing something.

at church on sunday, i was reminded of the beauty and wonder of advent. the worship leader emphasized the significance of advent hymns, in contrast to christmas carols. we sang songs that specifically focused on the sense of expectation and hope felt during the advent season.

i recently saw this tweet from j.r. vassar: "the first advent brought relief from our sins. the second advent will bring relief from our sufferings. come, lord jesus."

wow. do i live in expectation of that? do i work towards making that coming kingdom a reality today? do i recognize this coming jesus as the one in luke 4.18-19, the one proclaiming good news to the poor, liberty to the captives and to the oppressed?

this advent hymn has been in my head since sunday. i hope the words challenge you like they have me:

come thou long-expected jesus,

born to set thy people free;

from our fears and sins release us,

let us find our rest in thee.

israel's strength and consolation,

hope of all the earth thou art;

dear desire of every nation,

joy of every longing heart.

born thy people to deliver,

born a child and yet a king.

born to reign in us forever,

now thy gracious kingdom bring.

by thy own eternal spirit

rule in all our hearts alone;

by thine all-sufficient merit

raise us to thy glorious throne.

so maybe you're one of those that can't contain your christmas cheer... or maybe you're like me--just drinking a peppermint mocha and tuning into the 24/7 christmas music radio station every now and then... but either way, i pray we understand the hope and expectation of the advent season. come, lord jesus.

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