thoughts from a map.

this is my view from the little green chair i sit in (almost) every morning:

i've always wanted a big world map, so when we moved into this apartment and couldn't figure out what to do with that massive wall space above the couch, i knew it was time to find the perfect map. i love how HUGE it is. i love that i can't avoid it -- i have to look at it every day.

things i think about when i look at our big map:

1. people: i remember certain faces from every place i've traveled... and i imagine the faces of people living in countries where i'd love to travel. i want to know their stories. i want to know if they know jesus. i want to know what their language sounds like, what their food smells like, and what their culture feels like. i think about all the crazy stats we hear... 140-something million orphans... 20-something million trafficking victims... they just sound like numbers until you think of them as individual faces.

2. perspective: you can't even see oklahoma on that map unless your nose is practically touching it. needless to say, it makes me feel super small, and it makes me wonder how BIG God is if he claims that the earth is his FOOTSTOOL (isaiah 66.1). i mean, that is completely mind-blowing... and a much needed daily reminder.

3. adoption: (yes, i thought about coming up with a third p word, but come on, that would be way too baptist preacher-ish of me.) back to those 140-something million orphans... ever since i first traveled internationally and was face-to-face with some of those sweet children that make up that statistic, i've wanted to adopt. praise the lord, i married someone who shares that desire. so when i look at the map, i just wonder if there's a child out there who will one day be ours -- or if he or she is even born yet (probably not?). it would certainly be long way off -- and may not ever happen -- but it's definitely fun to dream about!

these are my thoughts: if you don't own a map, i think you should invest. the end.

mighty god.

remember how i decided to start a little mini blog series on isaiah 9.6? funny that it's taken me a month to write the second one... oops. typical. so, here's the verse again:

"for to us a child is born,

to us a son is given;

and the government shall be upon his shoulder,

and his name shall be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

-- isaiah 9.6

honestly, one of the reasons i put off continuing this series is that i knew i had to write about jesus coming as Mighty God, but at the time, i knew i was struggling to believe that he was mighty, so i felt like a hypocrite writing about it. for example, when i am anxious, i'm actively not believing that jesus is in control or that he can take care of me (thus, not mighty... or at least not mighty enough... yikes). then it hit me -- no matter when i write about this, it will be hypocritical -- i'm never going to fully grasp these truths to the point of not ever struggling to believe them. so, as you read these words, know that i fully believe them as truth, but my flesh is weak when it comes to living like i believe them.

when i think about what it means that jesus is to be called Mighty God, a few words come to mind: sovereign, powerful, in control, holy, glorious... completely other, completely unlike us. when i think of jesus as Mighty God, i think of passages like colossians 1.15-20 and verses like hebrews 1.3: "he is the radiance of the glory of god and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power." jesus upholds the universe by the word of his power -- i mean, WOW. if in him all things are held together and he is preeminent in everything, i think he can hold my life together and be preeminent in my life. if he upholds the universe, i think he is powerful enough to uphold my life.

this is why the incarnation is so utterly baffling. this same jesus -- through and for whom all things were created -- came to earth as a BABY. as much as i love my sweet little 7-month-old nephew, the bottom-line is that he does absolutely nothing for me. he sleeps, eats, and cries... and that's about it. this is how jesus came! and when all he could do was sleep, eat, and cry, people were coming and bowing at his feet in WORSHIP -- because they recognized him as Mighty God.

today's entry in jesus calling communicates this same idea:

I am King of kings and Lord of lords, dwelling in dazzling bright Light! I am also your Shepherd, Companion, and Friend -- the One who never lets go of your hand. Worship Me in My holy Majesty; come close to Me, and rest in My Presence. You need Me both as God and as Man. Only My Incarnation on that first, long-ago Christmas could fulfill your neediness. Since I went to such extreme measures to save you from your sins, you can be assured that I will graciously give you all you need.

Nurture well your trust in Me as Savior, Lord, and Friend. I have held back nothing in My provision for you. I have even deigned to live within you! Rejoice in all that I have done for you, and My Light will shine through you into the world.

instead of striving to understand the incarnation intellectually or academically, this year i'm striving simply to rest in the reality of it -- to believe it, to allow it to move my heart to worship -- to worship the Mighty God that came to us as a baby.

wonderful counselor.

"for to us a child is born,

to us a son is given;

and the government shall be upon his shoulder,

and his name shall be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

-- isaiah 9.6

{ if reading that verse doesn't immediately make

this song

get stuck in your head,

i feel deeply sorry for you. }

this verse gets a lot of attention this time of year, as it is believed to be a prophecy about the coming messiah -- jesus christ. i've decided to spend some time this year focusing on these four names isaiah ascribes to him -- starting, of course, with Wonderful Counselor.

honestly, i think i understand christ as my Wonderful Counselor more this christmas season than perhaps i ever have. for most of 2011, chris and i felt quite directionless. we knew we wanted to get married, but we had no idea where we were going to live or how we were going to pay rent once we got there. we didn't decide on norman until about 6 weeks before the wedding, and we didn't have a source of income until about 6 days before the wedding. needless to say, we were in desperate need of a wise adviser, a knowledgable guide, a Wonderful Counselor.

paul e. miller, in his book a praying life, writes, "i prefer the biblical term wisdom to our more common term guidance. guidance means i'm driving the car and asking god which way to go. wisdom is richer, more personal. i don't just need help with my plans; i need help with my questions and even my own heart" (145). seeking the lord as my Wonderful Counselor and asking him for wisdom requires my recognition that he is the one driving the car -- not me. it is an act of relinquishing control -- even the desire for control -- and submitting to his plans for my life... but my goodness, it's hard to get to that place.

i met with a christian counselor for about 10 weeks this summer. let's be honest, i probably should have done this years ago, but i had such a stigma against counseling. stigmas and stereotypes are the worst. they lead to all kinds of silly assumptions and missed opportunities. for the record, meeting with her was easily one of the best decisions i've ever made -- ever. as a third party, she was able to speak boatloads of truth into my life and to point me to the Wonderful Counselor more than any other person would have been able to during that season. he was counseling me, calling out to me, leading me, and speaking to me through her. i write this hoping that it will tear down the stigma against counseling for at least one person -- i have seen the lord use it in huge ways in my own life, as well as in the lives of several friends.

this christmas season, i am thankful that jesus came as the Wonderful Counselor. i am thankful that the lord of the universe even cares to be lord of my little ol' life. i am thankful that he speaks through earthly counselors. i am continually praying for the desire to relinquish control -- that's such a hard one for me! -- and the humility to submit to his infinite wisdom.

oaxaca.

i just got back from spending a few days in oaxaca, mexico on a buckner international trip. the group was made up of some incredible women who love to laugh and love to love on children. it was a BLAST. here are all the mother/daughter duos:

and, of course, my favorite mother/daughter duo:

buckner mexico is doing great work. they have multiple community transformation centers, feeding programs, and orphan homes. they're also helping families provide for themselves by giving them chicken coops and greenhouses and teaching them the skills to operate these things. it was pretty amazing to see. our time was mostly spent seeing the ministries, but also participating in them. we helped with the feeding programs, then did some crafts and stories to teach hygiene skills to the moms and children at the community transformation centers. i could post 100 pictures of the beautiful children there, but this girl might have been my favorite little cutie:

oh and did i mention that we got to see the biggest tree in the world?!? if you know me, you know i love trees, so of course i loved it. this thing was HUGE! this is all the same tree:

and finally, last night i returned home to my sweet husband who was apparently MISERABLE without me (just as he should've been, right?). i've been finding little notes all over the apartment this morning -- pitiful, but absolutely adorable.

thankful for another great trip. thankful for good time with my mom and sweet friends. thankful to see god at work in oaxaca, mexico, and to be reminded of his missionary nature and his unfathomable love and care for the orphans of this world.

long time no see.

remember how i have a blog? oops. i'm not sure why i haven't blogged in almost six months -- maybe just flat out busyness (lame excuse). then, of course, somewhere in there it got to that awkward point that friendships get to sometimes -- like when you don't want to get in touch because you haven't talked in so long, what would you talk about? you know the feeling.

well for whatever reason, i think it's time to start it up again. but before i get into all my most recent profound thoughts (right), i think it's only appropriate to get caught up on the last six months. let's just say, a LOT has happened... we'll take it chronologically:

1. i spent one week in may at christ of the desert monastery in northwestern new mexico. it counted as a "wilderness theology" course for seminary credit. dr. gloer (a NT prof at truett) takes a small group of students each year, and this year, katelyn and i were lucky enough to make the cut! spiritually, it was one of the best weeks of my life.

2. this summer i did a mentorship with cindy wiles at GCPN (global connection partnership network). i learned so much from her and the people there about what it really looks like for mission to be done through the local church.

3. after living in longview for 30 years, my mom moved to dallas -- kinda crazy, but also kinda exciting. she's got a great place there and has already made it feel like home. i'm hopeful for her new life there.

4. i graduated from truett seminary with an m.div!! i'm DUNZO with school!! woohoo!

5. the wedding celebration began -- showers, showers, and more showers!

6. our WEDDING -- chris and i got MARRIED! i'm a BRISTER! (maybe i should change my blog address...?)

7. honeymoon in hawaii (read: paradise).

8. we moved to norman, oklahoma to help plant a church: providence road communities. norman is such a fun place -- cute college town with lots of local shops and restaurants, and only 20 minutes from okc! we really like it here and are really enjoying the prov road fam.

9. my beloved texas rangers returned to the world series only to suffer another loss. i can't really communicate how much this broke my little heart. maybe you can get a taste of it from a post i wrote last october. makes me miss my dad in a big way.

10. my sweet nephew is almost 6 months old and cuter than ever. i'm obsessed.

so those are the top 10 highlights of the last 6 months! whew! sorry for being long-winded, but it felt good to catch up. hopefully it won't take me another 6 months to write the next post, huh?