expecting much

well good news—i’m really enjoying the internship. it’s really an incredible experience.  and the greatest thing is that it’s turned into quite a mentorship wrapped up in the package of an internship. i couldn’t be more grateful.

the best aspect of the summer has been the fact that instead of just staying locked up in my broom closet-turned intern’s office all day everyday, he’s letting me kinda explore the whole ministry and see what all the different branches do. some examples: one week we did some donor visits, which exposed me to the buckner foundation side of things. i’m not so sure i’m called to that aspect of ministry—asking people for money.  another week, he sent me to memphis with a team from the external affairs department. we set up a buckner booth at the cooperative baptist fellowship annual meeting. this exposed me to the marketing/pr side of things. i was all about it—i mean, how could i not be? i could talk about the work of buckner for hours. it was really fun to meet so many people, but maybe kinda bizarre to be surrounded by thousands of baptists in the same place at the same time—slightly overwhelming slash claustrophobic? i believe “interesting” was my word of choice those couple of days. sometimes i wonder if our generation will continue those types of things—i lean towards no, but we’ll see. last week, i got to attend a buckner adoption workshop one night. i loved meeting couples who were anxious yet eager (thanks, sarah) about potentially adopting a child into their home. also last week, they sent me to the shoe warehouse for a couple of days. buckner has a ministry called “shoes for orphan souls." basically, donations of shoes and humanitarian aid are received from all 50 states then shipped to almost 60 countries around the world. this warehouse is literally about the size of a walmart. that’s also the location for their dallas area crisis relief center. they serve 5 zip codes with clothes, food, and other needs. pretty incredible.

if you know me, you know that my favorite thing in all of this has been meeting the people involved in this ministry.  if i’m having a slow day in the office, or sitting at a booth in memphis or taking a waterbreak at the warehouse, i’ll find someone and drill them with questions about what they do and why they do it.  it has been unbelievably challenging and encouraging.

the director of the shoe warehouse/crisis relief center is a man named Jackie Belt. he’s been with buckner for over 25 years in all different areas, starting as a foster home house parent. his heart is gold and his stories are unbelievable—really. how about this story—a boy was getting a new wheelchair, so he donated his old one to buckner—but it wasn’t just any wheelchair, it had all the bells and whistles with red and gold detail, and his name stitched on the back—“Cory.” a couple of days later, a mom came in crying about how her son needed a wheelchair. Jackie took her to the back and showed her the one they had gotten and she went silent. her son’s name was Cory—WHAT?! he told me story after story like this—things that can only be explained by the hand of God. i would laugh, almost out of disbelief, but the incredible thing is that Jackie was never surprised by these things. he kept saying what a blessing it was to be in his position and to get to see God work in such beautiful ways.  he expects God to work and act like that—essentially to be God, to be who He says He is. and maybe that’s just it—maybe i believe God exists, but do i believe Him enough to expect much from Him? and this expectation isn’t out of thinking we’ve done anything to deserve it, but rather, realizing we don’t and recognizing in our inability, He is able—because of His abounding grace, and really, just because of who He is.

oh to have the faith of Jackie Belt. what if I didn’t just believe promises enough to agree with them but enough to truly claim them and live by them? when I pray, am i just wishing and hoping that He’s actually there and maybe even listening? or am I believing and expecting? according to james 1, let’s lean toward the latter.