depth.

last thursday at encounter, matt spoke from philippians 2.15-16, which says, "...you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life..." that phrase "hold out" can also be translated as "hold on to." so essentially, matt's message was on what it means to hold out and hold on to the word of life no matter what circumstances may come. 

so i've been thinking about that over this last week. what does it even mean for me to cling to the word of life when the pain attacks me so unexpectedly? what does it look like for me to hold out the word of life in my spheres of influence? 

on tuesday morning at chapel, the guest preacher, dr. thomas long, spoke from luke 5.1-11. it's the story of jesus calling the first disciples. they'd been fishing all night and hadn't caught anything. jesus comes to them and says, "put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch." you know the rest of the story. they proceed to catch so many fish that their boats begin to sink. 

DEPTH. that's what i'm craving. i love the invitation to throw my net out into the deep. i love the invitation to hold on tight to the word of life, to cling with a white-knuckled grip to him and his truth. 

but too often recently i've just been getting by and living day to day. i'm learning a lot in my classes and i'm having fun making friends, but i've realized recently that i desperately miss depth. i miss it in my conversations, in my friendships, in my time in the Word, in my relationship with God. i treat the word of life casually instead of clinging to it desperately.

i'm not sure what hinders me from holding on to the word of life or from throwing my net out into the deep. maybe distractions. maybe a lack of time management. maybe fear of the result. maybe a lack of trust. do i really believe that it's worth it? it has to be. i have to believe that it is. 

i pray that i will shine like a star in the universe as i learn how to hold on to and hold out the word of life. i pray that i will learn how to trust him and throw my net out into the deep.

my heart wants to be able to cry out with paul in romans 11.33,36, "Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen."