day by day.

i have to confess that a new year brings with it a lot of excitement and expectation, but maybe also a little fear? it can be a little overwhelming if you ask me. however, my mom has me stuck on this idea of living life day by day. i can't think about living 2009, i have to think about living today, january 10th.

right after dad died, i was living breath to breath, then i could go minute to minute, then hour to hour, then maybe a few hours at a time. after a while, i would try to take a day at a time, a few days at a time, a week at a time...etc. now, as the two-year mark is quickly approaching, i feel like i should be able to conquer another year, but let's be honest, it really scares me.

but here's my question: why do i think it's a sign of strength to be able to live year to year, or even month to month? is that type of living anywhere in the bible? i could be wrong, but i'm going to suggest that it's not. maybe it's quite the opposite, actually. i think we're created to live one day at a time.

look at the israelites in exodus 16. the Lord rained down bread from heaven for his people to eat. he commanded them to "go out and gather a day's portion every day" (v.4). isn't it interesting that he didn't give them massive amounts of bread to store up and ration out on their own? this way, the people were required to trust his provision every single morning. and did he fail? absolutely not. "morning by morning they gathered it, each as much as he could eat" (v.21). he wasn't just giving them enough to get by. they were able to eat their fill.

so is it any coincidence that when Jesus taught on prayer, he prayed, "give us this day our daily bread" (matthew 6.11)? or that a little later in that sermon, he said "do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. sufficient for the day is its own trouble" (6.34)?

as i face 2009, i want to learn how to live day by day. i want to know what it is to daily trust God in my grief, in my family, in my relationships, in my schoolwork. do i really believe that he will always provide?