understanding.

in my class on early church fathers, we recently had to read anselm's proslogium. it is essentially a discourse on proving the existence of God, whom anselm defines as "a being than which nothing greater can be conceived." this work was originally titled "faith seeking understanding," so needless to say, i was intrigued from the start.

i wanted to share these thoughts from chapter I:

"I long to understand in some degree thy truth, which my heart believes and loves. For I do not seek to understand that I may believe, but I believe in order to understand. For this also I believe--that unless I believed, I should not understand." 

unfortunately, i think i have this backwards most of the time. i seek understanding as a prerequisite to belief, but according to anselm, without belief, there will not be understanding.

i was convicted by this c.s. lewis quote on my brother's blog:

"If Christianity were something we were making up, of course we could make it easier. But it is not. We cannot compete in simplicity with people who are inventing religions. How could we? We are dealing with fact. Of course anyone can be simple if he has no facts to bother about."

so maybe i just need to get over the fact that i will always have unanswered questions and will never simply understand this faith. perhaps satisfaction comes in the seeking, in the wrestling, in the hungering and thirsting.

matthew 5.6-- "blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."