suffering well.

i have no doubt that anyone reading this blog has heard of matt chandler and his fight against brain cancer. the associated press recently released an article about him that has been published in newspapers across the country. if you haven't already, you really should read it. it's incredibly well-written. praise god that such a powerful word has been read by so many.

i've now read the article about three times, and each time my heart is challenged and convicted. my mind is racing with questions, so i keep reading it thinking i might find answers, but instead, the questions just race faster. so rather than presenting some organized, eloquent thoughts on the matter, i simply come with a list of questions. feel free to jump in and be a part of the processing.

• how does "suffering well" translate from enduring a fight against cancer to grieving the death of someone you love?
• has he really only asked "why me?" once? is it okay that i ask that question almost daily?
• his calvinist theology is clearly communicated through this article. as always, it makes me slightly uncomfortable, but i can't help wondering: is it the secret to his ability to maintain such a perspective on suffering?
• "he says he feels grateful that God has counted him worthy to endure it. he has always preached that God will bring both joy and suffering..." is it necessary to believe that second sentence in order to have the sense of gratitude described in the first?
• during the last three years, have i grieved well? do i have regrets?
• have i remained steadfast, or do i "grieve as others do who have no hope"? (1 thessalonians 4.13)
• in the last three years, have i endured this trial in such a way as to point others to the gospel? in the future, will i face trials in such a way as to point others to the gospel?

in today's my utmost for his highest reading, oswald chambers writes:

"The one passion of Paul's life was to proclaim the Gospel of God. He welcomed heartbreaks, disillusionments, tribulation, for one reason only, because these things kept him in unmoved devotion to the Gospel of God."

may we be unmoved in our devotion to the gospel. may we learn to suffer well.

revelation 7.9-10.

i was in dallas this weekend and had the joy of attending one of my favorite churches--park cities baptist. this church is full of good people who love others deeply and generously. they have an unbelievable hispanic ministry that has welcomed with open arms countless hispanic families in the area.

i met up with a friend at the traditional morning worship service, and afterwards she invited me to the spanish service in the gym. i'm so glad she did. the gym was packed with precious families and children singing beautiful songs and hearing a powerful message. i've decided that the times when i have most vividly experienced the kingdom of god have been the opportunities i've had to worship cross-culturally in a foreign language. though i've done this in multiple countries around the world, there was something significant about worshipping cross-culturally here in america with sweet families that live down the street from this very wealthy, predominantly white church. praise god that this church has figured out how to get over themselves and love people that don't look just like them.

if you haven't ever been around singing, praying, preaching, or scripture reading in a language other than english, i recommend it....asap. we have to realize that the kingdom of god is bigger than us white americans. in fact, if we're honest, we'll recognize that the church is actually growing exponentially faster in places that don't speak english than places that do.

i can't wait for heaven. i can't wait to worship with "a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, 'salvation belongs to our god who sits on the throne, and to the lamb!'"

here's a line from my favorite song we sang:

submergeme, en el rio de tu espiritu.

necesito refrescar este seco corazon.

sediento de ti.

home.

i've been thinking a lot about home recently--not necessarily my house in longview or my apartment in waco, but just home. what is it and why do i crave it?

when i think of home, i think of sweatpants. i'm thankful for jeans, but after a busy day, i like to be comfortable and warm. when i think of home, i think of coffee mugs. i'm thankful for paper cups at starbucks when i'm on the go, but using a mug means you plan to stay for a while. when i think of home, i think of washing my face. i'm thankful for make-up, but at home, nobody cares if i have a breakout or blonde eyelashes. when i think of home, i think of honest conversations. i'm thankful when people ask, "how are you?," but aren't they slightly annoyed if you say something other than "good"? at home, when someone asks how you're doing, they expect to hear it all. it's a place where people want to get excited for you or get upset with you.

interestingly, in john 15 (the message), christ says, "make yourselves at home with me." he goes on to say, "i've loved you the way my father has loved me. make yourselves at home in my love." he invites me to put on my sweatpants, wash my face, find a coffee mug i like, and sit on the couch with him, telling him all about my day. do i get that? do i desire that? or am i the cool college student that thinks i can go a whole semester without going home? am i willing to let myself get that comfortable and honest with him?

henri nouwen writes, "Home is the center of my being where I can hear the voice that says: "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests"--the same voice that gave life to the first Adam and spoke to Jesus, the second Adam; the same voice that speaks to all the children of God and sets them free to live in the midst of a dark world while remaining in the light. When I hear that voice, I know that I am home with God and have nothing to fear."

perhaps this old hymn says it best:

come home, come home;

ye who are weary come home;

earnestly, tenderly, jesus is calling,

calling, o sinner, come home!