a morning invitation.

"I get the invitation every morning when I wake up to actually live a life of complete engagement, a life of whimsy, a life where love does. It doesn't come in an envelope. It's ushered in by a sunrise, the sound of a bird, or the smell of coffee drifting lazily from the kitchen. It's the invitation to actually live, to fully participate in this amazing life for one more day. Nobody turns down an invitation to the White House, but I've seen plenty of people turn down an invitation to fully live.

Turning down this invitation comes in lots of flavors. It looks like numbing yourself or distracting yourself or seeing something really beautiful as just normal. It can also look like refusing to forgive or not being grateful or getting wrapped around the axle with fear or envy. I think every day God sends us an invitation to live and sometimes we forget to show up or get head-faked into thinking we haven't really been invited. But you see, we have been invited -- every day, all over again."

-- Bob Goff, Love Does

heavy heart.

i just really don't do storms well. this is our second spring (read: tornado season) in oklahoma, and i haven't gotten any better at it. if it even thunders, i assume a tornado is coming.

i was glued to the tv sunday evening as storms passed nearby us. a tornado touched down in edmond (about 45 minutes north of us), then moved on to do greater damage in shawnee (about an hour northeast of us).

i knew we were supposed to have bad weather again monday night, but surely it wouldn't be tornadoes again, right? surely it'd just be a thunderstorm? maybe some strong wind and hail?

i didn't think the weather was supposed to get bad yesterday until around dinnertime, so yesterday afternoon i was in my little home office working as usual. chris had come home for lunch and was working in the living room. i was on a phone call with my boss, and it wasn't even raining outside, when seemingly out of nowhere the tornado siren went off. chris immediately started watching the weather coverage while i stayed on my phone call (shocking, right?!). he came in and updated me a saying, "it looks like there are two storms. one should pass just north of us, and one should pass just south of us. everything's gonna be fine." it still wasn't even raining outside my window. my boss and i were nearing the end of our phone meeting when the sirens went off again. that was it, i had to go.

about the time i walked into the living room to figure out what was going on was about the time the massive tornado was doing its damage in moore... literally just 10-15 minutes away from us. we couldn't take our eyes off the screen as they showed live footage of the horrific destruction. pretty soon after that, our tv cut to the black and white fuzzy screen and our internet dropped. we made our way to a friend's house who still had cable and internet, watched some more coverage, realized we weren't in danger of any more storms, and resorted to pizza and parks&rec for the rest of the night. i never cried. i wasn't emotional. i think i was in shock and selfishly just thankful we were okay in norman.

today has been a different story. i've been wiping tears all day. my heart is just so heavy. i'm trying to work, but it's raining and thundering again outside which is disturbing to say the least, and i can't seem to turn the news coverage off in the other room, so my background noise all day has been stories of people just up the interstate from us whose lives were forever changed in a matter of minutes yesterday. the vastness of the destruction overwhelms me. the individual stories break me. those children -- it's just too much.

i'm not trying to pretend like this is my story to grieve or that i'm in any way a victim of this tragedy. please don't hear that. please don't be sad for me. i'm just trying to process by writing, and i guess "process" is what you call trying so hard to wrap my mind around this new reality just north of us and wrestling with this looming heaviness in my heart.

i'm heavy from the stories -- the children, the teachers, the parents, the first responders.
i'm heavy from trying to figure out how we can possibly help when the need is so great. no option seems like enough, but doing nothing isn't an option.
i'm heavy from feeling guilty that i want to act like it's a normal day and go for a walk on campus when it gets sunny later, but i'll be walking passed dorms where families are staying who are now homeless.
i'm heavy when i consider that the God who created the universe shares in our grief and suffers the impossible with us. it takes my breath away.

even in the heaviness there is hope.

a pastor friend of ours in moore survived with his family, but they completely lost their house -- i mean, everything. a friend of ours went and bought them underwear and other immediate necessities this morning. underwear, y'all. they lost everything. he posted a photo this morning of the remains of his house and his caption said, "jesus is better than everything i used to own."

today, we sit in heaviness. tomorrow, we start meagerly attempting to help with recovery efforts. thanks to all who have asked how to come alongside us and our church as we try to help. we'll keep you posted as we hear of opportunities. above all else, please pray for the people of moore!

the best mom in the world.

i've seen posts and statuses all day that say things like, "happy mother's day to the best mom in the world." those silly people. they must be confused.

I have the best mom in the world. hands down. way down.

she sacrifices everything for her family. 

she's courageous... so freaking courageous.

she's the coolest in her toms and noonday and warby parkers. 

she is passionate in her pursuit of Christ. 

she's one of the best bible teachers i've ever sat under. 

she always sees the bigger picture. 

she's such a fun grandmother.

she never misses an opportunity to tangibly display grace and love to us so that we'll better understand how Christ loves us.
she's super hospitable.
she trusts in the sovereignty of God even while sitting in a gazillion unanswered questions.
she loves cookies... and really all forms of "prizes."

i'm so thankful and honored to call her my mom, and i hope to be half the mom she is one day.

nephew love.

the husband and i made the trek to east texas this weekend to meet our new nephew. it was so good to be home and so sweet to meet the little guy. i was sad to leave. i mean, look at this place:

who wouldn't be sad to leave? let's just say spring in oklahoma doesn't quite look like that. in fact, it's sleeting today. bless it. i couldn't stop staring at those azaleas and dogwoods... well, really just the trees in general. WE DON'T HAVE THOSE HERE. help me, jesus. 

i've been a little homesick lately, so it was extra good to be around my favorite people for a few days -- and especially fun to meet my newest favorite person. he's just so precious and wonderful and good and perfect. yep. all of those things.

i also loved getting to hang out with my favorite almost-two-year-old (which is so hard to believe!). it's really fun to be able to communicate (-ish) with him now. we played outside, went to the park, watched cartoons... you know, like you do. he's so easily excited and laughs a lot -- which is convenient for me, because i can't help but laugh when he laughs. i'm just crazy about this kid.

east texas, you are beautiful.

family, i already can't wait to see you again.

on our way home, we made a quick stop to see the husband's family. i hadn't seen them since christmas. not acceptable. how cute is this little guy?! and who knew they made overalls for babies? it's too much.

we're so thankful for three healthy, adorable nephews and for family that we love spending time with. they're rare gifts and i miss them again already.

new life.

somewhere in the middle of the 4 AM golfball-sized hailstorm last night, i got a text message from mom saying our newest family member had made his debut. i'm unbelievably proud to introduce you to my brand new nephew, benjamin luke crowson:

9 lbs, 1 oz // 23 inches

i can't get over how kind God is to let our family celebrate new life on this easter sunday. it's too perfect. on a day in which we celebrate our savior who gives us new spiritual life by the shedding of his blood and the power of his resurrection, we also get to celebrate new physical life with this sweet little addition to our family.

apparently, his big brother was pretty excited about his arrival, too.

whit: "my ben..."

we're so glad you're finally here, sweet benjamin, and we absolutely can't wait to meet you next weekend. love, your favorite aunt and uncle.

happy easter!

p.s. it's also really cool that you decided to be born on opening day of the texas rangers' season. your grandfather would have LOVED that. i think it's another picture of God's kindness to us. thanks for that, ben. you're a gift. by the way, your astros-loving uncle chris is about to be very disappointed. let's go, rangers!

life out of death.

i recently spotted a few flowers on a tree for the first time this spring. true story: i pulled my car over, got out, and snapped a pic of the baby blooms.

and the stunningly blue sky.

i thought my soul was going to burst. i know that sounds dramatic, but it's the absolute truth. i hopped back in my car and proceeded to drive around norman looking for more blooms (never mind the fact that i was originally in a rush to get to the grocery store). i had no idea how much my soul needed to see them, but once i did, i couldn't get enough of them. 

i needed to see life.

more specifically, i needed to see life coming out of death. living flowers out of branches that have been seemingly lifeless for months. come on, people. we can't act like this isn't a big deal. 

i couldn't get over it. just ask the friends we went to dinner with that night. spring was all i wanted to talk about. "i saw blooms on a tree today, y'all. there are flowers coming out of dead sticks. flowers, y'all. it's the most amazing thing. you've gotta see it." (i must have said this series of sentences at least five times... as if they've never seen flowers before. they were sweet to act excited.)

now, about two weeks later, i still can't get over it, even though the tons of bradford pears in norman (like the one pictured above) are covered in blooms. 

beautiful sight, unfortunate smell.

in romans 1.20, paul writes, "for his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made." i love how God knew we would need help knowing what he's like. i'm thankful he knew i would need reminder after reminder after reminder of who he is, so he created plants and trees and sky and wind. how kind and gracious is he?! how can you NOT see his eternal power and divine nature when everywhere you look this time of year LIFE is springing out of DEATH?!

this weekend we'll celebrate the ultimate story of eternal power and divine nature, the ultimate life coming out of death story. don't miss it, y'all. don't miss that all of creation is screaming this story right now. don't miss the opportunity to be overwhelmed all over again by the story of jesus facing death and conquering it with life. he takes our sin and gives us righteousness, takes our grief and gives us joy, takes our weakness and gives us strength, takes our past and gives us hope, takes our darkness and gives us light.

it's a story worth not getting over. don't miss it. 

happy texas independence day!

i'm one of those obnoxious texans that genuinely loves the state of texas... but aren't all texans?? sorry, people. we can't help it. texas is just the greatest.

so in honor of texas independence day, i had to post this recent buzzfeed article:

50 sure signs that texas is actually utopia.

i couldn't stop smiling while reading the list. read it. asap. it includes everything from beyonce to bluebonnets, and i love all of them.

thankfully, the husband and i were deep in the heart of texas this weekend for a conference in austin. god bless you, austin, texas, and your delicious breakfast tacos and food trucks and lovely capitol building and just overall coolness.

so happy texas independence day, y'all, from two homesick texans.

{old picture from a rehearsal dinner last june,
but don't you just love bluebonnets? even if they're fake?!}

perspective.

much of life is a matter of perspective.

26!

if you know me, you know i love birthdays -- especially my own. yesterday i turned 26, and i was reminded again what a gift it is that i have such incredible friends and family. you people are rare, and a blast to live life with. thank you, thank you for the snail mail (it really is the best), voicemails, texts, cupcakes, and tiara (yes, that happened. cheers to princess month.).

the party started last weekend with a little getaway shopping trip in dallas with mom (so fun!! you're the best, mom!) and a last minute trip to lufkin to see our friends, katelyn and walker. it was so great to finally see their world, meet their daughter, and slumber party together. we could not be more thankful for these friends.

yesterday was a full day of good people and good food (waffles and cookie cake on the same day, y'all!). chris threw a little shindig for me last night and invited all our friends here in norman -- i honestly loved providing a party for people. i mean, everyone loves a good party, right?

michael jordan turned 50 yesterday. my husband is too clever. 

also, to be perfectly transparent, there were many lonely days when we first moved to norman, so when i looked around last night, i was just so thankful to have good friends. that's certainly not something i take for granted anymore. you people are a gift! thanks for making feel loved!

galentine's day.

tonight i threw my first annual galentine's day party. what's galentine's day, you ask?

well, in the words of leslie knope herself...

"What's Galentine's Day?? Oh it's only the best day of the year. Every February 13th my lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home and we just come and kick it...

Ladies celebrating ladies."

confession: i've fallen head over heels in love with parks & rec. if you don't watch it, i suggest you drop everything, find your nearest netflix-playing device, and get started. you'll thank me later.

back to galentine's. it was great. we gabbed (yes, gabbed) about boys, we laughed, we cried (not really), we ate way way way too many sweets...

and wrote each other valentines... because cute, crafty, encouraging love notes are never a bad idea.

i wish we would've taken a group pic, but i was probably too busy eating cookies and pretending to be crafty. true story, people.

so cheers to all my lady friends on galentine's day! i'm thankful for you!

"February 14th, Valentine's Day, is about romance, but February 13th, Galentine's Day, is about celebrating lady friends. It's wonderful and it should be a national holiday." -- Leslie Knope 

tulip trees.

the husband and i spent the weekend in east texas, and although it was raining most of the time, i was sure to notice the tulip trees in full bloom.

{source}

you know what that means? spring training. pitchers and catchers report this week.

{source}

thanks for teaching me to love baseball, dad. it sure makes me miss you.

spring 2006.

new girl.

the bristers are entering yet another new chapter.

{i'm beginning to wonder if we're ever not going to feel like we're in a new chapter. is that just real life? who knew?}

as of thursday, i'm the brand new "be a family program coordinator" at buckner international. i'm primarily doing family intake (serving as the primary contact for parents interested in fostering or adopting through buckner in order to point them in the right direction), but also some social media, recruitment, customer service, and whatever else they throw my way. by the end of my orientation, i wondered if they created this position as a "be a family" junk drawer to throw all the miscellaneous necessities in, but hey, the junk drawer is the go-to drawer in your house, right? i'm okay with it.

needless to say, i'm quite excited. i mean, in case you missed it, i'm getting paid to help parents adopt and foster through an organization i love. i'm getting paid to find parents for children who don't have them. Y'ALL. yes, i'm having to adjust to full time job life and having to adjust to working from home, but i'm pumped to be doing something i enjoy and pumped that it allows me to still be here doing stuff with prov road.

cheers to a new chapter!

"God sets the lonely in families..." -- psalm 68.6

nephews.

we just can't get enough of these two little guys.

i'm so thankful for phones that can send pics and do facetime. luke and katie, thanks for making our sunday night and monday morning with these gems:

whitley crowson, 20 months

ben hardy, 2 months

we sure miss you little cuties and hope to see you again soon!

love,
your favorite aunt and uncle

joy dare.

i love the idea of resolutions, but let's be honest, i'm not always great at sticking to them -- but who is? (okay, except for sarah.) i think the only 2012 resolution we successfully stuck with was closing the toilet lid when we flush. not a joke. the bristers are lid-closers now. who wants to brush their teeth with toilet water? sick.

don't get me wrong, we've come up with some great ideas in the last week or so... 2013: the year of actually eating our leftovers. 2013: the year of calling our grandmothers more. 2013: the year i actually change my email address to my married name (it's been 15 months, y'all). 2013: the year we read more and watch tv less. 2013: the year i start remembering to take my reusable bags to the grocery store.

and then, of course, there are the spiritual ones... 2013: the year of praying more... or reading my bible more consistently... or being more intentional in my conversations with people... etc., etc., etc... but how do you measure "more"? it's totally unachievable.

i need something measurable, something achievable. i recently finished the book one thousand gifts. (i wrote a post about it a couple months ago when i started it, mostly because i had fallen in love with the little intro video. go back and check it out.)

i mean, i LOVED this book. it took me a while to get used to her writing style, but once i did, i was just so overwhelmed by it. by the time i finished, i was so ready, so desperate to make eucharisteo a part of me, for gratitude to be part of who i am, for my joy to come from my awareness of who HE is and all HE has done -- in the everyday, no matter the circumstance. because quite literally everything is a gift, whether i recognize it or not, so why not make an effort to notice?

so it was officially decided... 2013: the year of counting 1000 gifts. measurable: clearly. achievable: absolutely. then... it gets better... i was on ann voskamp's blog one day and found a little gem to help me in this gift counting. it's called the joy dare. she gives you three things to look for each day, and by the end of the year, you'll have counted over 1000 gifts. so for example, here's january:

i'm only 8 days in and i'm already loving it. admittedly, it can feel a little cheesy sometimes, but maybe that's okay? even good for me? it feels like a treasure hunt, which i don't hate even a little bit.

so here's to 2013: the year of counting 1000 gifts... and maybe eating a few more leftovers. who's with me??

2012.

i kind of love the natural rhythm that the end of the year brings. i love all the top 10 lists and year-in-review videos. i love reflecting on the fun memories made this year (thank you, road trips) and lessons learned (1st year of marriage = constant learning). i love the feeling of a new start and getting to put the not-so-fun memories behind us (we're looking at you, lonely days and flooded apartment).

last year on this day we had only been married for 3 months! there's quite a difference between 3 months of marriage and 15 months of marriage... and for sure a difference between living in a town for 3 months (still using my iphone map to find everything and not knowing anyone but my husband) and living in a town for 15 months (actually feeling like it's home!).

last year on this day i was 100% unemployed and chris was working a part-time job. (what!?!) raising support so that both of us could work part-time for the church was such a process, but such a way to watch the lord provide for us. we've loved serving and leading at prov road, and we're so pumped to see what 2013 has in store for our people.

last year on this day we had one little baby nephew, and now we have two nephews and one on the way! (we're slightly obsessed.)

i was scrolling through the pictures on my phone earlier today trying to remember everything about 2012... and clearly i had to make a fun collage. (let's be honest, people. we've basically been on the couch watching bowl games all day, so i had to find something to do.) so here you have it, some of our 2012 highlights in pictures:

january: OU basketball game with the now-married marshes.
(OU sports = major source of entertainment for us year-round.)
february: mamma mia! in okc for my birthday.
march: celebrating whitney's birthday. (i miss the good ol' days when she was only 20 min away.)
april: catching thunder fever.
may: celebrating whit's 1st birthday!
june: caribbean cruise with the brister family.
july: tour de south. meeting my bff's brand new baby.
august: katelyn came to visit!
september: syrup opened. thankful to work with a girl i've been friends with for a decade.
october: month o' weddings. 'nam reunion.
november: welcome to the world, ben hardy!
december: christmas shenaningans.

so here's to 2013... it will surely be filled with more highs and more lows... but i'm thankful to know in advance that the lord will be faithful. here's to a new year and the new mercies he gives, not just today but everyday. 

home.

the wheels could not turn fast enough last friday afternoon as chris and i drove to east texas. i was SO ready to be home for christmas. after our six hour drive (i was over it after 45 minutes), we finally arrived at this house:

our family friends graciously let us have their farm house for the weekend. it was so fun for all of us to be together and kinda feel like we were away from the world. thankfully, the weather was beautiful, so we spent lots of time outside. it was just perfect.

on sunday afternoon, we drove back into town to do christmas eve and christmas day at mom's house:

she's been living there since summer, but this was only my second time to see the new digs. i think it's my favorite place she's lived. it's just got so much character.

so i've been thinking this week... all december i just so badly wanted to go home... and all week since christmas, i've been telling people how good it was to be home... but let's review: i spent time at a house i've only been to a handful of times in my life, then at a house i've only been to once... so was i really home?

absolutely. because home is about presence. home is about being with certain people more than it is about being in a certain place. we could have spent christmas anywhere and i would've felt at home as long as i was with these people (in matching pajamas, of course):

and the more i've let this whole home is about presence thing roll over in my mind, the more i've considered how the same thing is true with the lord.

in the message, eugene peterson translates christ's words in john 15.4 in this way:

"Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you..." 

make your home in me. it's not about my surroundings or circumstances, it's about being in his presence... feeling at home in his presence. feeling like i can wear sweatpants and never put on make-up in his presence. being familiar with his voice. being familiar with his ways. just being with him.

and the fact that he has already made his home in me?! baffling.

wedding weekends.

in the month of october, chris and i went to three out-of-state weddings three weekends in a row. i mean.... what were we thinking?! october was basically a whirlwind for us, but all three weekends were a blast and we can't imagine missing any of those weddings. so here's to being young, not having kids yet, and loving so many good people in our lives (even if they did all decide to get married at the same time)! here are a few of the highlights -- this should probably be three separate posts, but we'll cram it into one gigantic one -- get ready for a LOT of pictures...

october 6: emily (my cousin) and nathan serven / austin, texas

pit stop in waco at my favorite coffee shop ever -- i never thought i would say this, but i actually really miss waco.

always fun for all of us to be together -- whit did that all by himself right before they snapped the pic -- adorable, right?  

dad's side of the family -- my first time to be around all of them since our wedding a year ago -- that's way too long!
 {random fun fact: emily wore the same dress my aunt and my grandmother wore! so cool!!}

the boys went to a UT football game while the girls and whit drove down to san antonio to see gigi. i just adore her.

we took whit to the pumpkin patch down the street from gigi -- he loved it!

other highlights: being in texas, eating great mexican food, seeing chris's family on the way back thru dfdubs (next time we see them his sister will have a baby!!), oh and being in texas...

october 13: chase and lauren sievers (friends of mine from auburn) / montgomery, alabama

we were SO happy that alan and melinda (norman friends) made this crazy long 12 hour drive with us --  they brought with them good stories, lots of laughs, good snacks, better music selection, stellar road trip games, and most importantly, car knowledge. alan came to the rescue when the volv battery decided to die on the trip back.
yes, we used coke to corrode the rust. yes, we drank the rest. yes, we left the car running from tupelo to norman. yes, we pumped gas twice with it on. 

saturday morning breakfast with friends

quick trip to the loveliest village on the plains

weagle weagle

'nam friends + spouses. some of my absolute favorite people in the world. easily worth the 24+ hours of driving.

other highlights: celebrating chris's birthday the whole drive there, seeing friends (the littlepages) that live on the other side of the world and meeting their brand new daughter -- miss adelaide, talking adoption with friends (the mcgees) who recently adopted from ethiopia, catching up with my college pastor and his wife (the deans) and meeting one of their sweet daughters they recently adopted from china, hearing the incredible things the lord is doing in all of these friends' lives and dreaming of doing life together again one day... 

october 20: brian (chris's friend from tech) and jaime griggs / amarillo, texas

quick trip to lubbock for a texas tech fix

while chris was doing the groomsman thing on saturday, i hung out with my cousin, sheree, who lives in amarillo. she took me to all the amarillo hot spots -- like cadillac ranch -- what even is this place?!?!

palo duro canyon -- second largest canyon in america. BEAUTIFUL!!

{i just realized we don't have any pics from the actual wedding. oops. i'll try to find one.}

other highlights: being in texas, eating great mexican food, not ever being able to get over how FLAT west texas is, seeing my cousin kaitlyn in lubbock, watching sunrises and sunsets in the biggest sky, sneaking away from the reception to watch tech beat tcu in overtime, watching chris around some of his best friends in the world, oh and being in texas...

whew! the end. october, you were so so so fun, but maybe just a little bit crazy... cheers to spending most of november in norman!

needtobreathe.

syrup is next door to a local record shop, and one day i saw this poster in the window. needtobreathe in okc? yes please. so, chris and i got tickets and called it our anniversary gift to each other. (fun bonus: tickets = paper = the traditional one year anniversary gift. who knew?)

we waited in the will call line (outside in the cold) foreveerrrrrr, but the good news is, we got to see an incredible sunset -- easily the best perk of living in oklahoma.

if you're not into needtobreathe, you should be, and if you ever get the chance to see them live, you should go. they put on a really great show. i know i'm naive, but i just feel like they love what they're doing and it's so fun to watch. they just seem like good ol' southern boys singing from deep in their souls, not for money or fame, but because they just love music. okay i'm done. no i'm not -- their lyrics, y'all. they're just so good. okay now i'm done. for real.

i'm not good at picking favorites, but i think my favorite performances of the night were "the reckoning"(with drew holcomb), "keep your eyes open," and "difference maker." click the links to see videos of the other two, but here's "difference maker" for your viewing pleasure. enjoy!