home.

the wheels could not turn fast enough last friday afternoon as chris and i drove to east texas. i was SO ready to be home for christmas. after our six hour drive (i was over it after 45 minutes), we finally arrived at this house:

our family friends graciously let us have their farm house for the weekend. it was so fun for all of us to be together and kinda feel like we were away from the world. thankfully, the weather was beautiful, so we spent lots of time outside. it was just perfect.

on sunday afternoon, we drove back into town to do christmas eve and christmas day at mom's house:

she's been living there since summer, but this was only my second time to see the new digs. i think it's my favorite place she's lived. it's just got so much character.

so i've been thinking this week... all december i just so badly wanted to go home... and all week since christmas, i've been telling people how good it was to be home... but let's review: i spent time at a house i've only been to a handful of times in my life, then at a house i've only been to once... so was i really home?

absolutely. because home is about presence. home is about being with certain people more than it is about being in a certain place. we could have spent christmas anywhere and i would've felt at home as long as i was with these people (in matching pajamas, of course):

and the more i've let this whole home is about presence thing roll over in my mind, the more i've considered how the same thing is true with the lord.

in the message, eugene peterson translates christ's words in john 15.4 in this way:

"Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you..." 

make your home in me. it's not about my surroundings or circumstances, it's about being in his presence... feeling at home in his presence. feeling like i can wear sweatpants and never put on make-up in his presence. being familiar with his voice. being familiar with his ways. just being with him.

and the fact that he has already made his home in me?! baffling.

thankful thursday: almost christmas!

i can't believe we're only FIVE days away from christmas. crazy pants. on a quasi-related note, here are five things i've been thankful for this week:

1. christmas party help.
being the only girl technically on staff with our church, i was somewhat singlehandedly in charge of throwing our christmas party. don't get me wrong, i love playing hostess, but the few days leading up to the party i started getting a little overwhelmed by the numbers. i happened to mention my slight overwhelmedness (is that a word?) to the girls i meet with every week, and the next thing i knew, they were making multiple desserts, coming early to set up, staying after to clean up... i was SO thankful. i don't think there's any way i could've pulled it off without them. why does it take me so long to ask for help?! lesson learned (i hope).

{incredible, right?! i was floored.}

{photo booth fun.}

2. early christmas with the in-laws.
chris's parents came up last weekend to celebrate christmas early! they loved seeing our new apartment and finally eating at syrup, and we loved having them -- we just wished it could've been for longer! and who knew we were actually going to open gifts?! talk about a fantastic surprise. i'm kicking myself that we didn't all get a picture together. next time.

{side note/shameless plug: they knocked it out of the park (as always) with super thoughtful gifts, but i think my favorite gifts came from paizlee -- my SIL saw me pin a few of their things on pinterest, but had no idea i actually know the owner! i'm so pumped to be able to show off my friend's business! be sure to check out their super cute clothes and accessories!!}

3. talented friends.
our christmas card this year is a result of us having crazy talented friends -- and we're so thankful for them (not just their artistic abilities!). nicole (our friend & pastor's wife) of nicole hager photography snapped quick pic of us on our beloved tandem, and leslie koch (a friend of mine from syrup) of touies design designed the rest! we love the way it turned out! thanks, friends!!

4. inspirational friends.
i've always been thankful for katelyn & walker, but i'm feeling especially inspired by them today and so proud to call them friends. katelyn is for sure one of those people who doesn't love attention on herself. she's incredibly thoughtful and loves to do things for others -- so this little story does not even a little bit surprise me. last weekend, as a way to respond to the sandy hook crisis and celebrate christmas, they decided to do 15 random acts of kindness around their little small town of lufkin, tx. you can read about their super fun, super creative day o' giving here. the best part is that their local paper and tv station picked up the story! how cool is that?! not only am i challenged by their thoughtful, others-centered acts, but i'm also reminded that this world has no box to put things like this in. people are shocked when you care about them for no reason. what a picture of jesus!

5. tomorrow!!
i'm so thankful that tomorrow we're headed to east texas for christmas with my family!! i feel like it's been way too long since we've seen them (over 2.5 months! that's a lot for us!). i could not be more excited about time with them... especially play time with the cutest little 19-month old i know! expect lots of pictures...!!

what are you thankful for this week?

lose/lose situation.

last week was jam-packed... attending christmas parties, throwing christmas parties, finding those last few christmas gifts, cleaning for then hosting the in-laws, loving on our friends taking finals and our friends having a baby... all on top of just normal life stuff. and for whatever reason, i just felt kind of heavy all week. it wasn't a bad week at all, it was actually full of fun things, but my heart was just heavy.

somewhere in the week (maybe tuesday?) i found myself procrastinating and playing on the internet... clicking from link to link, blog to blog... and somehow i ended up on this girl's blog {i mean, we're talking like a friend of a friend of a friend kind of situation}. she and her husband lost their one-year-old son completely unexpectedly a few months ago. while grieving a dad and grieving a son are two very different things, her writing was all too familiar. i remember having such similar thoughts and feelings a few years ago. don't get me wrong, i still grieve, but it's more of an every now and then thing than the every minute thing she's still walking in.

now, you're going to think i'm crazy, but as i read her writing, something in me missed that pain -- that it-hurts-so-bad-i-feel-like-i-can't-breathe pain. weird, i know, but i think what i mean is that i miss how fresh it all was, because sometimes now it seems so distant. just in case you don't believe me, here's an example -- again, from last week (i told you it was quite a week). thursday would have been my parents' 32nd anniversary. now, this is the sixth december 13th we've had since dad died, and the previous five weren't easy. it's just always been one of those dates that threw in my face the fact that my dad was gone, my parents' marriage was over, my family was no longer the picture-perfect little family that i naively used to think we were, and that my mom was experiencing more pain than i could ever imagine. so what about this year? december 13th came and went, and their anniversary didn't even cross my mind one time! WHAT?! i know it's just a date on a calendar, and i know that my brother probably wouldn't have remembered their anniversary even if dad were still here, but dates have always been a big deal to me, so a couple days later when i realized i had completely forgotten it, i was absolutely stunned -- not even like overwhelmed with sadness, but like utterly shocked.

do i wish i still felt like i couldn't breathe because of the pain everyday? i guess not, because those were hard days that i don't ever want to live through again... but forgetting things like their anniversary (as silly as that may seem) makes me feel like i'm forgetting him and i can't even handle that feeling. just typing that makes me feel a little bit nauseous. 

oh grief, you are such a terrible lose/lose situation. you are such a reminder that this world is broken, but thankfully not our home forever. you are such a reminder that i am completely incapable of mustering up hope, peace, joy, and love on my own... such a reminder that i am desperate need of the savior whose coming we celebrate this time of year. 

thankful thursday: christmas music.

you know those annoying people that are sticklers about only listening to christmas music after thanksgiving? well i hate to break it to ya...  but i'm for sure one of those people. so good news: it's FINALLY time to listen to christmas music, people! and you better believe i'm taking full advantage of it.

i've realized recently that christmas music is a pretty crazy phenomenon. i mean, words like "his law is love and his gospel is peace" are blaring out over store speakers everywhere. what?! people who would never step foot inside of a church building will gladly bundle up and sing, "joy to the world! the lord is come!" at a christmas tree lighting. completely bizarre, but kinda cool.

all of that to say... i'm dedicating this week's thankful thursday post to 5 new christmas albums i'm thankful for this season.

1. jeff berry, christmas
okay, okay, so maybe i'm biased -- he's a family friend and he sang at our wedding -- but my goodness he's got a great voice and he's a really good songwriter. {shameless plug.}
fav song: "you are the light"

2. ben rector, jingles and bells
as much as i love ben rector, how did i miss that he has a christmas ep?! supposedly it was released in 2009, but i had no clue until i saw it for free this week on noisetrade! it's a christmas miracle!
fav song: "jingle bells"

3. folk angel, glad tidings
i fell in love with folk angel last christmas -- their comfort & joy album is now one of my favorite christmas albums ever (let's not kid ourselves, mariah carey's merry christmas is at the top of the list, but theirs is up there). so, i was eagerly awaiting the release of this year's folksy christmas goodness, and glad tidings certainly did not disappoint.
fav song: "joy to the world"{tough call. "o little town of bethlehem" was a close second.}

4. drew holcomb & the neighbors, another neighborly christmas
i love their a neighborly christmas album from 2009, so i was super excited when they released this ep this year. they've got such a great sound -- sometimes folksy, sometimes rock, sometimes bluesy. it's just real good.
fav song: "white christmas"

5. andrew peterson, behold the lamb of god
this album is far from new -- in fact, i think it's over a decade old -- but it's so good that i had to include it. one of my roommates in college introduced me to it, but i haven't really listened to it much since. some friends here in norman reminded me of it this year, and now i'm its biggest fan all over again. the whole album tells a story -- starting with moses, moving through the old testament, the prophets, into the birth and life of christ. it really is incredible and worth listening to all the way through at least once.
fav song: "while shepherds watched their flocks"

hope these tunes help you get in the christmas spirit even though it's 75 degrees outside! enjoy!

what are you thankful for this week? do you have any new favorite christmas albums this season? favorite ever christmas albums?

noonday & fair trade.

attention all females or anyone with any female on your christmas list -- this post is for you.

i have recently fallen in love with this jewelry/housewares/accessories line (thanks, abby) and i can't wait for you to fall in love with them, too.

let me introduce you to noonday collection:

is your heart not FREAKING OUT?!? you can empower women around the world and look super cute doing it! if you're going to spend money this month (which you are), you might as well change the world while you're at it. 

on that note, i'm trying to be super conscious these days about where our money goes -- not necessarily in a budget way (sorry, chris) but in a "who really gets this money?" way. i'm realizing most of the clothes and products we buy are at the expense (not profit) of people (sometimes children) overseas. not okay, y'all. 

i'm only a recent passenger on the fair trade train, so you should read these posts from others who are much more knowledgable on the subject:

jen hatmaker: the christmas conundrum

katy rose (a friend of mine here in norman): traditions in gift giving

kristen howerton (this one's about chocolate at halloween, but same general idea): the inconvenient truth...

it's a bandwagon worth hopping on (did i just mix metaphors there?), so i hope you'll join me in taking baby steps toward fair trade this christmas season.

"and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry

and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,

then your light will rise in the darkness,

and your night will become like the noonday."

-- isaiah 58.10

do you know of other fair trade products or other posts about the necessity of fair trade? please share them in the comments section!