so for the two of you that read this, you’ve been warned. ha!
a paraplegic man came and spoke to my health psychology class last week. he was in a wheelchair and essentially paralyzed from the neck down. at one point he made the comment that if given the chance to go back to normal walking he wouldn’t take it. WHAT?! i would love to think that at some point in my life i would be mature enough to have the same attitude, but i don’t really think it’s human. i’m thankful for certain things that have come from the last year of grieving, but i’m not sure that i’ll ever see it as a fair trade…but what is “fair” really?! i act like God owes me something, as if i really deserve anything. or maybe it’s not that mindset as much as it is a certain expectation of what so-called “unconditional love” should look like.
a friend (well, she’s more than that…a mentor? God-send?) sent me this book of daily readings called Streams in the Desert. here’s an excerpt from april 1 that i thought was pretty good:
“An old seaman once said, ‘In fierce storms we must do one thing, for there is only one way to survive: we must put the ship in a certain position and keep her there.’ Sometimes, like Paul, you cannot see the sun or the stars to help you navigate when the storm is bearing down on you. This is when you can do only one thing, for there is only one way. Reason cannot help you, past experiences will shed no light, and even prayer will bring you no consolation. Only one course remains: you must put your soul in one position and keep it there. You must anchor yourself steadfastly upon the Lord.”
oh to know that place of trust! oh how i desire to anchor myself upon Him when reason, past experiences, and prayer too often leave me wanting. how is that even possible?
“we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. this hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. it leads us through the curtain into God's inner sanctuary."–hebrews 6.18-19 (nlt)
HOPE.
a friend (well, she’s more than that…a mentor? God-send?) sent me this book of daily readings called Streams in the Desert. here’s an excerpt from april 1 that i thought was pretty good:
“An old seaman once said, ‘In fierce storms we must do one thing, for there is only one way to survive: we must put the ship in a certain position and keep her there.’ Sometimes, like Paul, you cannot see the sun or the stars to help you navigate when the storm is bearing down on you. This is when you can do only one thing, for there is only one way. Reason cannot help you, past experiences will shed no light, and even prayer will bring you no consolation. Only one course remains: you must put your soul in one position and keep it there. You must anchor yourself steadfastly upon the Lord.”
oh to know that place of trust! oh how i desire to anchor myself upon Him when reason, past experiences, and prayer too often leave me wanting. how is that even possible?
“we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. this hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. it leads us through the curtain into God's inner sanctuary."–hebrews 6.18-19 (nlt)
HOPE.
ten of us went to my roommate’s mountain house in cashiers, nc this weekend. when we went hiking in the rain on saturday, we had a great time, but the view from the top was fog. we were literally in a rain cloud. as we looked into complete gray, my roommate described for us the usual beautiful scenic view from the top.
when we woke up this morning, it was sunny and pretty, so of course we went for another hike. this time, the view of the blue ridge mountains was breathtaking. i didn’t have to envision the view. i didn’t have to merely hope that the mountains were out there. i didn’t have to take someone else’s word for it. i could see it for myself.
the last verse of the hymn “it is well” came to mind: “and Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight/the clouds be rolled back as a scroll/the trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend/even so, it is well with my soul.”
i can’t imagine the end of this wrestling match of faith, when faith will become sight. meanwhile, i will hope and anchor myself in faith upon Him, even when nothing makes sense. and maybe at some point in my life, though not today, i will be able to sing those last words, “it is well with my soul.”
the last verse of the hymn “it is well” came to mind: “and Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight/the clouds be rolled back as a scroll/the trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend/even so, it is well with my soul.”
i can’t imagine the end of this wrestling match of faith, when faith will become sight. meanwhile, i will hope and anchor myself in faith upon Him, even when nothing makes sense. and maybe at some point in my life, though not today, i will be able to sing those last words, “it is well with my soul.”
6 comments:
first of all, who's comment got deleted? secondly, thanks for the update. thirdly, do all the stories in the book have to do with water. perhaps ironic if you response is yes since the title is streams in the desert. i wouldve just taken it as metaphoric for good things in the midst of life. like an icecream cone or fruit pizza if you will. will you?
you like me.
i think its safe to say more than 2 people read your blog. you're a smart, wise girl that is an inspiration to many.
you will
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