a thrill of hope.

i realized sitting in the christmas eve service tonight that i've been dealing with christmas this year like i deal with cold weather: i don't love cold weather, but there's nothing i can really do about it, so i just have to bundle up and hope i get inside again before it makes me too miserable. this is exactly how i've been getting through this christmas season. i haven't been shocked by it (1st year), or angered by it (2nd year), but maybe just bothered by it... and since there's not much i can do about it, i've simply braced myself and hoped to survive.

but i recognized tonight that in bracing myself for the season of christmas i've missed out on the message of christmas. (read "message" as "reason", though i couldn't bring myself to use the word "reason" due to the countless times i've rolled my eyes at "jesus is the reason for the season" church marquees.) this year, rather than my mind being captivated by the story and my heart being engaged in worship, i've done my best to keep it all at an arms-length so as not to get emotionally involved.

however, it's hard to keep emmanuel at an arms-length. emmanuel. god with us. surely that is the "good news of a great joy that will be for all the people" that the angels were talking about. it is good news to me that "the word became flesh and dwelt among us" (john 1.14). it is good news to me that "we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses" (hebrews 4.15). i find a great joy in this emmanuel, this savior that would come to see and feel and hear and hurt and weep and laugh and struggle and ache and love.

so tonight, as i squeezed like a sardine onto a church pew packed with me and about 20 of my relatives, i felt my weary heart rejoicing--thankful for a family i couldn't love more, thankful for the opportunity to worship, and thankful for emmanuel.

a thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,

for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

fall on your knees.

oh hear the angel voices.

oh night divine.

oh night when christ was born.