a shot in the arm.

this weekend i got some much needed, long-awaited time with a best friend. she endured an 11 hour drive across the country and a quick plane ride -- all while 34 WEEKS PREGNANT -- just to see me and get a glimpse of my life in norman! it meant the world to me.

she got to see our little apartment, meet some of our new friends, eat at a few of my favorite restaurants, shop at some cute boutiques, and enjoy a couple walks on campus and around the neighborhood. it really was a pretty good snapshot of normal life around here -- just with a little more girl time. chris said he had never heard so many words per minute (we had lots of catching up to do!), and i got to watch TWO chick flicks in the same weekend! julia roberts is just good for the soul.

thanks so much for coming, sarah!! i vote we never do this whole 8 months apart thing again. can't wait to meet baby hefner -- SO SOON!!

breakfast table.

There's something sacred about reading a blog post on someone else's site. It's like visiting a friend's house for a quick meal 'round the breakfast table. It's personal -- you're in their space, and the environment is uniquely suited for idea exchange and uninterrupted conversation. In many ways, we should be treating our blogs like our breakfast tables. Be welcoming & gracious when you host, and kind & respectful when visiting.

-- Trent Walton

i recently read this quote about blogs and for whatever reason, i just absolutely loved it. maybe because (when i actually get up early enough to enjoy them) i love mornings, especially when they involve a yummy breakfast, so i love the idea of my blog as a breakfast table. or maybe because i've recently discovered i have a love for hosting (i get it from my mama), so i love the idea of "hosting" people as they visit my blog. or maybe because i'm an extrovert that processes verbally, so when i'm writing these blog posts, i'm actually wishing i was sitting across the table from a best friend (with coffee in hand, of course) talking about these thoughts and being encouraged by theirs. so, i know this little ol' blog isn't really anything special, but for those of you that consistently take time to read my rambling thoughts, thanks for taking a seat at my breakfast table. coffee refill, anyone?

{p.s. i saw this quote on a really fun blog i stumbled upon... today's letters. you should check it out.}

a belated mother's day post.

i'm just so thankful for my mom. i loved getting to be with her on sunday to make sure she felt celebrated. but let's be honest, she wasn't so much into mother's day this year... she was too busy loving her first grandmother's day. "honey" sure is smitten with her grandson (and visa versa).

let's get it straight, whit -- before she was a grandmother, she was and will always be a fantastic mother. she's such a good encourager, advisor, cheerleader, nurse, friend... all the things that make up a great mom. not surprisingly, she was there for two of the most important days in my life this last year:

and in the fall, we traveled to oaxaca, mexico together (with a team from buckner -- read more here) to serve and love on orphans. who gets to do that with their mom?! she's so cool and has such an incredible heart for ministry. 

i'm getting to that age when i realize i'm slowly but surely turning into my mom. i'm less and less surprised when things come out of my mouth and i sound just like her. it's getting ridiculous, really. but i'm learning to embrace it -- she's quite the woman to be turning into!

i love you, mom!!

one.

my sweet nephew turned ONE last thursday! i can't believe it -- i really feel like the last twelve months flew by (maybe we had a lot going on??). he has brought {much needed} joy and hope into our family -- such a little gift from God. i'm not sure how much a one-year-old can actually know in his mind, but i hope he knows how incredibly loved he is -- i've never seen so many people just be so crazy over a little guy! i'm so thankful to have a front row seat to watch his life play out. here are a few of my favorites from his first twelve months:

if you know me, you know i LOVE birthdays, so i was pumped to help celebrate mr. whit this weekend. my sister-in-law, teri, threw a great party (and maybe luke helped a little, too). can you even handle how cute that balloon wreath is??

whit, of course, loved his cake -- a man after my own heart.

so on our drive back to norman, we had ben rector on shuffle for a while. his song, "hank," came on and i just sat there wiping tears from my eyes thinking about whit! if you haven't heard this song, get a tissue out. (i wish i could change the first line, and change "uncle" to "aunt," but come on, just pretend.)

your aunt cara jane is loves you, whitley!! can't wait to celebrate many more birthdays with you!!

already all i need.

we're talking about spiritual disciplines right now at providence road, and last night i got to hear the most wonderfully well-spoken, incredibly attractive preacher (okay, okay, my husband) speak on silence and solitude. i wanted to steal the mic and just tell everyone to book flights to santa fe so we could all go to the monastery. gosh, i miss that place (see another post on it here). one of these days, i WILL go back, and i'm taking chris with me -- and i'm pretty sure we could get katelyn and walker to go with us (i would love to tell people we're taking a couples vacay to a monastery -- ha!).

it is just so hard to find even a tiny bit of silence or solitude in our crazy loud culture. i've noticed that even when i do fight for that time, i may be still and quiet, but my mind is still racing. so then, to focus, i start praying -- and by that i mean, asking. i've noticed recently that i ask God for a LOT. i'm constantly telling him my concerns/worries/needs (as if he doesn't already know them) and asking him (telling him?) to do something about them.

i went to sleep last night doing some of this praying asking, and woke up this morning still thinking about it. remembering chris' sermon from last night, i just stopped and tried to still my soul. a funny thing happens when you stop talking -- it makes room for other people to speak up -- crazy, huh?! in that moment, i was quickly reminded of exodus 3, when moses asked God his name. "God said to Moses, 'I AM WHO I AM... This is my name forever, and thus I am to be remembered throughout all generations." sometimes i wonder if he wants to scream that in my ear.

i need a friend. I AM.
i need peace. I AM.
i need someone who understands me. I AM.
i need joy. I AM.
i need financial provision. I AM.
i need purpose. I AM.
and the list goes on and on and on and on and on...

hello conviction. it seems like such a simple idea, but i've found it's one of those things that's easy to know in your head, but hard to believe in your heart, and even more difficult to live out in your life. it reminds me of one of my new go-to songs. if you're like me and the Lord speaks most clearly to you through song lyrics (especially if they're sung by christy nockels), then expect this one to do a number on your soul.

asking where you are, Lord, wondering where you've been

is like standing in a hurricane trying to find the wind.

and hoping for your mercy to meet me where i am

is forgetting that your thoughts for me outnumber the sand.

you fill the sun with morning light

you bid the moon to lead the night

you clothe the lilies bright and beautiful

(chorus)

walking through this life without your freedom in my heart

is like holding on to shackles that you have torn apart.

so remind me of your promises and all that you have done.

in this world i will have trouble, but you have overcome.

and every gift that i receive you determine just for me,

but nothing i desire compares to you.

(chorus)

in your fullness, you're my all in all.

in your healing, i'm forever made whole.

in your freedom, your love overflows

and carries me, you carry me.

you're already all i need,

already everything that i could hope for,

you're already all i need.

you've already set me free,

already making me more like you.

you're already all i need, jesus,

you're already all i need.

training and being trained.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

-- Proverbs 22.6

chris and i watched the kids at church again sunday night. confession: i was really excited about the new sermon series and was pretty bummed when i realized we had to miss the first week of it. i mean, let's be honest, of all the typical church staff positions, or of all the ways to volunteer in a church, probably last on my list would be the children's ministry. i've just never felt like i'm particularly great with kids, and i guess i would just rather hang out with people my age who speak decent english than try to decipher two-year-old quasi-english and figure out how to make babies stop crying. 

but oh my goodness, these boys, y'all. we have about 11 kids at prov road -- all age 4 or under -- and 9 of them are boys!! they're seriously SO cute... like can't even handle it cute. they're like little sponges -- super eager to soak up anything you say -- which means they're way into story time. this week, our story was about the seeds and the sower in mark 4. we had an apple and cut it open to show the seeds, trying to teach them about seeds turning into fruit. then, the take-home craft was a little packet of sunflower seeds... somehow, i think they probably went home thinking their sunflower seeds might turn into apples. oops. but here's the deal -- they loved it. they ate it up -- the story, not the seeds -- that could've been dangerous. 

i think we have a lot to learn from these little kiddos. i want to be like a sponge when it comes to the words of Jesus. i want to read scripture and be so in awe of it, so eager to soak it up. don't get me wrong -- those little toddlers certainly ask "why?!" a million times... but, unlike me, i think when they ask, they're asking out of curiosity, not doubt. i long for that child-like faith.

"Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it."

-- Jesus, Mark 10.13-15